Pathfinder (2007) review

Vikings versus Native Americans. What’s not to like about that idea? Well, in principle nothing at all. It’s a fun concept that has a lot of scope going for it. The warlike, comparatively advanced vikings against the Natives, a group tied to the land (not literally). It’s a great starting point for an underdog story, the unprepared and ill equipped Natives having to fight back against an otherwise superior force. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Brace yourself for an unpleasant surprise. It isn’t.

Karl Urban is our lead, a white man who was taken in by the Natives as a child and is originally of Viking stock. His new people call him Ghost – terribly flattering. He has a bit of a thing for Starfire (Moon Bloodgood, who’s not of Native American origin. Just saying) but there’s hostility from the tribe because he’s not one of them. Well duh. Whose idea was it to take him in in the first place?

Soon after this introduction, ships arrive off the coast and bring with them a vast swarth of vikings. Ghost is the only survivor of an attack on his settlement and sets off to hide himself away, knowing the Vikings are using him as their Pathfinder – letting him lead them to the next settlement.

And, because there wouldn’t be a film otherwise, he’s better at being a viking than they are. Go figure. The one man army trope is played out to full effect, leading up to the Natives resorting to guerrilla warfare tactics against their superior enemy. Which er, doesn’t really pan out all too well for them. Stands to reason, really. If only they’d listened…

The DVD transfer is far too dark and oversaturated for anything to be seen properly. It seems that, to give the film a distinctive visual style, they decided to put filters on everything for the sake of it.

Likewise, when it comes to the action sequences the camera is far too close to the action and it’s difficult to fully appreciate the effort that has gone into choreographing them. We don’t need to be right in on the action to get a feeling for it. Sometimes I wish action directors – Michael Bay included – would get this into their heads. Pan out just a little bit, for all our sakes.

Still, Karl Urban is always good value for money, and Moon Bloodgood, despite being in the damsel in distress role is decent. The best value for money comes in the form of Clancy Brown and his big viking villain Gunnar. He’s not a patch on Brown’s earlier role as The Kurgan in Highlander, but it’s the only real entertainment you’ll get from this turgid mess.

It’s a real shame because the story is a great idea. The costume designs are impressive and the gore is top notch. It just falls flat in almost every other respect. Mindless, dumb and lacking in depth pretty much sums it up. I would however recommend checking out the Norwegian film this is adapted from, Nils Gaup’s Ofela. Much better.

The Mist (2007) review

Simon Prior

Who’d have thought that Frank Darabont would be able to put a bunch of people into a supermarket, envelope the outside with an evil mist, and manage to keep things interesting for two hours? Not me, that much is certain. And yet The Mist somehow manages to take this very basic premise and run with it. Hats off to Frank Darabont, he’s a man who knows what he’s doing when it comes to adapting Stephen King works for the screen.

As a fan of The Walking Dead it was fun to see a few familiar faces in the cast here. Melissa McBride, Laurie Holden and Jeffrey DeMunn would later go on to appear in the (initially) Darabont-helmed adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s comic (which reminds me, I still have the latest issue to read…). It’s always a pleasure seeing William Sadler in anything. Here he’s a mechanic who has a very intriguing and entirely respectable character arc. Likewise for Toby Jones, he is another actor who I will always pay good money to see. And bad money too, if necessary.

But with that aside, it’s a thoroughly engaging story for many other reasons. The division between the survivors is a particular highlight. The slow conversion of the scared and the fearful to Mrs Carmody’s resolutely Old Testament religious zeal is developed well. This gradually expands and causes significant concern for the more level headed and fact based members of the group.

On the other side of the spectrum are the more personal relationships between the characters. Thomas Jane’s David has a history with his antagonistic neighbour Brent (Andre Braugher). After the storm in the opening moments wrecks both their houses they appear to be on their way to fixing the divide between them. Then the mist descends and the old rivalries and misunderstandings begin to bubble back up to the surface.

In fact the only thing that doesn’t work too well is the explanation for where the creatures and the mist came from. This is only a small portion of the film, however, so it’s not worth dwelling on. There’s an argument for the CGI creatures being a little uneven too, but the film is tense where it needs to be and that, in the grand scheme of things, is all that matters.

It also has possibly the bleakest ending in the history of cinema. Go in knowing this, by all means. It won’t change a thing. In fact, you’ll likely applaud Frank Darabont for sticking to his guns and releasing the film with the ending he wanted. If it fits the story then we don’t need a happy finale. Just take a look at Terry Gilliam’s Brazil, compare his ending with the studio interference “love conquers all” finish, and tell me which is better. If you say the studio ending… Grud help you.

If you get chance, I’d also recommend watching the black and white version of the film. Despite being identical in every way to the colour version, the monochrome look gives it a completely different feel and flavour. Given a choice between the two, the black and white version wins it. Good thing, because it’s Darabont’s favourite version too.

Androids Dream (2014) review

Simon Prior

Spain 2052. It looks pretty much the same as today, but here is a world in which humanity is on its last legs and androids are out there mingling amongst the public. You can usually tell the difference between the two – humanity’s last survivors are geriatric. Anybody younger than 60 is probably a replicant.

Only probably, mind. There is an air of uncertainty on this point, much like in Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, another adaptation of Philip K Dick’s story ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?‘ It’s not made absolutely clear, but it’s certainly implied.

This is a world that looks unfinished. Vast half built skyscrapers blight the landscape, as if they started construction and, on finding that the world has started falling apart, decided to give up on that and so something more interesting with their lives. It’s that contrast between the old and the new, the way things used to be done against the new order.

Meanwhile a man with a shaved head is travelling round the city bumping off replicants.You could say that he’s the Decker of this film. It seems the only clear link between the two, as this city bears no resemblance to Ridley Scott’s bleak dystopia. To be fair, 2052 will probably look very much like here and now, so it’s not a stretch of the imagination.

The irony (perhaps deliberately placed) is that there are literal sheep running around the place, but not in the vast numbers we see today. In this future world they are ridiculously expensive, four and a half million pesetas each. This is because there are few animals remaining and prices have skyrocketed as a result. To own a dog or a cat will cost you a million pesetas each. You’d be better off buying a pet rock.

Clocking in at just over an hour, Androids Dream is an interesting piece of work, despite lacking in direction and narrative clarity. Not much is given away in the dialogue, what little of it there is, and there is a heavy reliance on using the picture to tell a story. There isn’t much explanation given as to why our balding blade runner has to bump off replicants, except perhaps to clean up the world for whomever or whatever takes over next.

It seems much of Spanish or even continental cinema isn’t happy unless it has stripped away most of the narrative storytelling requirements and boiled everything down to basics. It does leave you floundering a little, trying to figure out what it is the film wants us to think. I’m of the opinion that more could have been to expand on this front, even if only by just a little. By all means, provide a low budget remake of a sci-fi classic, but do something with the story you’re trying to tell.

As it is, Androids Dream comes off as trying to be too clever for its own good. The only people truly likely to appreciate De Sosa’s efforts are those who are familiar with the source material or Ridley Scott’s 1982 film.

Much Ado About Nothing (1993) review

Simon Prior

I’ve long had an appreciation for this play and for this particular interpretation of the text. This is mostly because I studied the play and this version of the film at school. With that sort of nostalgia factor at play, it goes without saying that this will rank highly due to my sepia tinted glasses, if nothing else. Not that I wear glasses. Not yet anyway.

So, for anybody who either hasn’t read/seen this play or has absolutely no clue about Shakespeare’s works, Much Ado About Nothing is one of the Bard’s comedies, albeit one with a dark undertone that could have easily turned it into one of his tragedies.

Not that it really needed pointing out, but you know instantly who the bad guys are in this venture. Rather cannily, they wear black breeches instead of the blue worn by Don Pedro and his entourage. Don John, the illegitimate brother of Pedro (as if their different ethnicities weren’t any clearer on this), wishes to see his brother fail and thus sets a cunning plan into action.

This production, filmed on location in Italy, is almost as light and as fluffy as the outfits worn by the cast. It is a tale of two romances. The first is the main focal point of the narrative, with the returning soldier Claudio (Leonard) wooing Hero (Beckinsale). Sort of. Claudio wants to get together with Hero, but lacks the gumption to ask her out himself. Pedro does so on his behalf at a masquerade, but not before John has seeded in Claudio’s mind that Pedro is wooing her for his own good.

The other is between Benedick and Beatrice, here the real life couple of Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson. Well, until they divorced a year later anyway. Their constant sniping at one another hides the fact they would make a good couple, and it’s this that leads to Don Pedro plotting with the others to have them bond, one way or another.

A welcome dose of humour is introduced leading into the final act, in the form of Dogberry (Keaton) and Verges (Elton). After all the dramatic to-ing and fro-ing to this point, their bumbling incompetence confirms to the audience that this is indeed a comedy. Still, their near inability to do their jobs almost lets John get away with his evil plan.

And let’s be honest. With a cast that features the trio of Briers, Brannagh, and Blessed, with Denzel Washington, Emma Thompson, Kate Beckinsale, Robert Sean Leonard, Ben Elton, Michael Keaton and yes, even Keanu Reeves, where can you go wrong?

Well, you can cut out the clear continuity error around halfway through. Benedick is stood in full view of those he is hiding from during the fountain song. Otherwise, where else can you go wrong?

Finally, for those unaccustomed to the sight, if you are not a fan of seeing Imelda Staunton being groped (onscreen) and ravaged (slightly offscreen) by a randy man with a beard, this might not be the film for you.

Freefall – Part 10

Simon Prior

2016-05-15

Hello and welcome to Part 10 of Freefall, an ongoing double drabble story I’m telling each week. It’s a science fiction story set in some distant part of the galaxy.

As I say each time, the first 9 parts are available in the short story section if you need to catch up. At 200 words a pop you shouldn’t need too much time to get up to speed.

I’m always glad to receive feedback, whether you enjoyed a story or there were parts that you weren’t keen on. My contact details are, funnily enough, on the Contact page. Thanks for paying a visit, and I hope you stick around for future episodes.

“Spread out. Find him.”
The soldiers did as ordered, fanning out from the landing pod in a half circle formation. The farmhouse sat ahead.
Kohra walked until he was thirty feet from the farmhouse, then stopped. He would make the resident come to him.

The farmer opened his front door and stepped out to meet the visitors.
“Hello, can I help you?”
Kohra didn’t move. Instead he projected his voice towards the farmer.
“I’m looking for an escaped prisoner. He landed near here.”
The farmer walked towards Kohra slowly. The soldiers raised their weapons cautiously. The farmer looked unarmed but there was still the possibility that he had a hidden weapon beneath his jacket.
Kohra waved them away. This man offered no threat to him. The soldiers lowered their weapons and continued their search of the area.
The farmer stopped ten feet away from Kohra.

“Sorry, I ain’t seen nobody of that type round here.”
Kohra looked the man dead in the eye.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m tellin’ the truth, sir. Now if you don’t mind, I got business to attend to.”
“No, wait right there.”
The farmer stopped. Kohra spoke.
“He’s here. And you’re protecting him.”
Kohra fired his weapon.

Tomorrowland: A World Beyond (2015) review

Simon Prior

Most science fiction focuses on the negative aspects of life, portraying dystopian worlds and situations that are filled with potential for drama. There’s a good reason why utopia isn’t used anywhere near as often, and that’s because utopia is quite boring.

And that is why Tomorrowland falls a little flat. While trying to portray the future with an air of hope and not fall into the dystopian trap, it writes itself into a corner that is ultimately difficult to escape from.

George Clooney is Frank Walker, a guy who as a young boy got to experience the technological marvel that is Tomorrowland. That is, the sort-of parallel world and city of Tomorrowland and not the Disney ride of the same name. And yes, before I go any further, this is indeed based on that theme park ride. Don’t be expecting any miracles like the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. And I expect a collective sigh of discontent when people notice that the script comes from Damon Lindelof. I have nothing against his work, for what it’s worth, but I think that people still feel burned by how Lost ended.

Britt Robertson is Casey, a girl who finds a way to see into the world of tomorrow and seeks Frank’s help in paying a proper visit. Meanwhile they are hunted by the robotic forces of Tomorrowland’s custodian Nix (Hugh Laurie).

I realise that my summary of the film plot may make it sound more interesting than the reality. There isn’t that much of a hunt, for starters. More of a mild chase. The rest of the story is tied up in the family problems of both Casey and Frank, and a possibly creepy link between the latter and Athena, a young girl from Tomorrowland.

That’s not to say there are not positives. While the overall narrative has issues, individual elements of Tomorrowland do work well. This includes a well placed, and very British, swear word from Hugh Laurie. Performances are solid throughout, as you might expect, and Brad Bird has a good grasp for providing exhilarating set pieces.

As Brad Bird’s second live action feature after some rather excellent work in the animated features The Iron Giant, The Incredibles and Ratatouille, and the box office juggernaut of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, there was a certain expectation that this would hit a similar benchmark. The reality is, sadly, somewhat different. While his style works very well indeed, it’s the script that does him no favours. It’s that whole utopia vs dystopia thing again.

What Tomorrowland is telling us is that children are the future, and/or that we should embrace a similar attitude to the world that children have. As we grow older we become more jaded, more cynical, more inclined to put up the barriers and shut ourselves off from the world. Children don’t have that filter. They look on the world with wonder and hope and, arguably, that’s how we as adults should look on the world too. If we don’t, then a utopia will never exist and we begin our inexorable descent into the dystopia the filmmakers want us to avoid.

But then given a choice, I’d rather watch Mad Max: Fury Road for that very reason.

Short Story: Blood and Claws

Simon Prior

2016-05-13

The blood was splattered up the wall, the perfect arterial spray. It stretched from the ground all the way up to head height. The human body contained an average of eight pints of blood, but when it spilt it looked like much, much more. The victim on the ground had been almost completely drained, and not cleanly.

Around the body was the rest of his blood, pooled around two large rips in his chest and neck. The flesh from those areas was missing. A search of the area had found nothing outside the attack radius. In fact, once you stepped away from the body and the blood spillage, it could have been almost any other street in the city. The attacker had kept things simple. And, wherever those chunks of flesh had gone, they had been completely removed from the scene without a trace.

Next to the body sat what looked like a bullet casing. The detective, his raincoat protecting him from the slow drizzle that had continued for more than an hour, picked it up. His gloved hands preserved the grime and dirt that had collected on its surface. No, not a bullet casing. A claw. He turned it over in his hand, inspecting it closely. He knew that this claw would match the marks that had been scoured into the victim’s body. He placed it in a see through zip bag and left it in his coat pocket.

He looked over the scene. The victim had been alone when they had been attacked. The attacker had approached the victim from behind, slashing at his back and throat with quick swipes. Then the victim had fallen to the ground, blood spraying up the wall and collecting in pools beneath their body. It was then that the attacker had taken two large bites from the victim.

Something must have spooked the attacker, otherwise there was no doubt that there would have been more than just a couple of bites.

It bore all the hallmarks of a large animal attack, but the patterns were all wrong. The attacker had been stood on two legs when it had reached the victim. There were no such animals in this part of the world, let alone in a city like this. Except for one.

There had been no witnesses. At least, none that had been willing to come forward so far. The detective thought that there might be at least a few homeless vagrants nearby that had seen the whole thing, but they were the least likely to make themselves known to the authorities. That was one less complication to worry about.

The detective turned up his collar, hiding his face from the light of the full moon. He slipped into the shadows and away from the crime scene. Now that he had the only true piece of evidence in his possession, it was unlikely that the source of the attack would be found. It had been foolish of him to think that the curse had left him, that he could walk freely in the light of the moon.

Next time his fate might be the same as his unfortunate victim.

Stash House (2012) review

Simon Prior

A young couple move into their dream home, only to find it has a fake wall that is filled with illegal drugs. They are set upon by local neighbourhood watch guy Ray before they accidentally secure themselves inside with the house’s emergency security system – dropping metal doors and window covers down across all entry points. This has a dual purpose though – it also means the bad guys outside can’t get in. For now, at least.

Dolph Lundgren gets top billing in this direct to DVD effort as the main villain of the piece. It’s more about the couple and he’s used so there is a big name on the DVD cover to help sell the movie. You see it time and time again. Sometimes it works. Other times… not so much.

Here it’s okay because, unlike most direct to DVD tosh, he’s in the picture for most of its running time. Perhaps somebody should tell him about the deals Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme have been able to get. If they can do a day’s work and get top billing, surely the same can be said for Dolph?

Anyway, this just happens to be one of those films shot on digital and then heavily saturated with filters in post production. It results in an otherwise jarring set of images that lack the smooth movement of something shot on film, or on better cameras. More often than not, and this may be as much to do with the DVD transfer as the edit, the images feel either washed out or overly processed. It just misses out on finding the sweet spot.

But while there are issues with the picture quality, the story is alright. I know, surprising right? It’s not played out as well as it could have been, but it’s got a decent premise at its centre. There are, admittedly, huge leaps in logic to overcome, but if you can see past these for just a moment you can get something out of it.

It’s filled out with a few nice little touches. Some scenes of the outside world are shown as if from the house’s security cameras, everything bathed in a strange, ghostly white shade. Ever wanted to see a ghostly Dolph Lundgren? This is your chance. The rest of the time it’s just far too dark, both inside and outside the house. Using natural lighting is one thing, but it should complement the acting, not hide it completely.

Dolph Lundgren is a reliable presence and, much like the rest of the film’s cast and plot, plays it completely straight. The remaining cast, limited as they are in number, offer equally competent performances and prove to the strongest aspect of the whole production.

Eduardo Rodgriguez, no doubt sat majestically in the director’s chair, complete with gold sceptre and laden with diamonds, has a decent eye for nice shots but in this instance is unable to build much tension. While the situation itself would be incredibly tense, things almost peter out at the halfway point.

The only other redeeming quality is that the husband is very light on his feet and is adept at sneaking up on people. That’s a half decent skill to have if you’re into cat burgling or scaring your significant other. Or both.

Life Is Beautiful (1997) review

Simon Prior

War is a terrible thing, more so if you are involved in it against your will. Such is the situation with the Holocaust in World War 2, millions upon millions affected and/or killed as a result of Hitler’s War.

Starting off in pre-war Italy, Life Is Beautiful is a film of two parts. The first sees director and star Roberto Benigni playing a liberal Jew called Guido, a fun loving man who talks a lot and is not averse to quips, puns and other bits of japery. Through his fun loving attitude he woos Dora (Nicoletta Braschi, Benigni’s real world wife) and they have a son together.

The increasing tensions of the war build slowly. It starts subtly, anti-semitic graffiti on a Jewish-owned horse expanding to more offensive graffiti and attitudes. And yet Guido faces all of these trials with a smile on his face and a determination to get on with his life as best as he can.

The second half is where matters grow all that much darker. Interred in a concentration camp, Guido, Dora and their son Joshua (Giorgio Cantarini) must do everything they can to survive.

It is here that Guido protects his son from the horrors of their internment by pretending the whole thing is just a game. Through his smiling demeanour and aversion to discussing the true horror of their situation he manages to keep his son safe and away from the Nazi guards.

Hope is a powerful thing, but is an emotion that can be easily misplaced. There is one scene in particular later in the story where Guido meets a German doctor who once stayed at the hotel he worked at. Before the war they exchanged riddles and conundrums and had a pleasant, friendly relationship.

When Guido meets him again in the concentration camp, he has hope that the doctor will be able to at least help his son get out alive. Without spoiling anything, Guido discovers that hope is a double edged sword.

The true effects of the Holocaust aren’t covered in any great detail. Instead it forms the background and historical context for Guido and Dora’s situation. I don’t think the film would have benefitted from putting the true horror front and centre. We know it’s there, that is enough.

My one gripe with the script, and it is admittedly a minor one, is that Guido manages to keep his son safe for such a long period of time, even after the other Jewish children have been taken away. I’m not saying this wasn’t possible, it’s just that it feels somewhat in the realm of fantasy for his subterfuge to be maintained for that length of time.

Otherwise, it’s clear why Life Is Beautiful won at the Oscars. Guido is very much like Benigni, who famously clambered over tables, chairs and notable guests to collect his award at that year’s Oscars ceremony. It is a powerful and emotive journey for the audience, watching and supporting one family at a time where pure evil has overcome all that is good.

More importantly, it is a story of hope. Without it, all is lost.

The Marine (2006) review

Simon Prior

From the Tony Scott school of direction – where the camera barely stays still for a second – comes The Marine, a WWE Films production. John Cena stars as John Triton (I wonder how long it took them to think up that name?), a former Marine who was busted out of the army and must now acclimatise to normal life.

That might make for a decent drama piece, but it wouldn’t be a very interesting action film. Plus, with all due respect to John Cena, I can’t see him doing a serious drama film at any point. Then again, if Mr Schwarzenegger can do it, I guess anything is possible.

So, because this is an action flick, it doesn’t take very long for him to be on the trail of a group of diamond thieves who have kidnapped his wife.

Robert Patrick is the A-Lister bad guy, playing a diamond thief with a mean streak. And, it seems, a whimsical streak. When he’s not mercilessly killing people he’s cracking witty comments that raise at best a mild chuckle. His gang of villains fare little better, playing up against the established cliches but are ultimately nothing more than bad guys for Triton to kill.

You can tell that the budget took a hit, because after the first couple of action sequences the second half of the film takes place almost entirely in the swamp. Allow me a moment to contain my excitement… There we go.

And everything blows up. Police cars, gas stations, more cars. Warehouses. Bars. Trucks. Robert Patrick. Almost everything except the swamp explodes, and often for no other reason than it looks cool.

And when will that camera stay still? It swoops around everybody in a dizzying whirl, only taking time to stop long enough to get a glimpse of Kelly Carlson’s cleavage.

From a script level there are several issues, but they don’t spoil the fun that can be had throughout. If you think too much about the plot, especially in this sort of low grade action film, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. With that said, there are a couple of narrative threads thrown in there that are either not developed, not explained or just ended abruptly. What happened to the guy Cena threw through a window? Nobody knows. Or cares.

In terms of the direction there’s one genuinely good shot, where diamonds are showered in blood, but that’s it. Some flashy camera movement doesn’t stop The Marine from being a mostly dull affair. It’s a shame too, because the opening 15 minutes or so are almost acceptable, and the big explosions are impressive but almost seem to be placed to wake the audience up between the lulls in action.

Where it fails the most significantly is in making John Cena indestructible, as no matter who or what is thrown at him he comes out the other side virtually unscathed. In fact you could argue that the same thing happened in his pro wrestling career. Snark snark.

1...678...90 Page 7 of 90

SIMONPRIOR.COM