Semi-Pro (2008)

By

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2014-01-17

Ferrell had a most unfortunate testicular problem.

Twitter Plot Summary: Small time basketball manager Jackie Moon tried to get his washed up team into the NBA.

Five Point Summary:

1. A retard joke. We’re off to a good start.
2. A twist on Russian roulette.
3. He really is a super fan, isn’t he?
4. Bear fight!
5. Aaaand end credits. You’re probably grateful.

What the world has apparently been crying out for is Will Ferrell is Jackie Moon, a washed up basketball player in 70s America for the Flint Michigan Tropics. After the ABA decide to merge with the NBA and the Tropics are on the verge of being closed down, Moon persuades the committee to put the top 4 league teams through at the close of the season. Now all he has to do is get his washed-up Tropics from bottom place and up to the top end of the table. How do you do that in basketball? By making trades, of course. I won’t pretend to know the exact details of how basketball works (for the record I much prefer ice hockey), but whilst big-haired Will Ferrell is the marketing focus (and the same character he plays everywhere else), it’s really about newcomer to the team, former NBA star Monix (Harrelson), at such a low ebb in his career he’s traded for a washing machine. Thankfully Monix knows a thing or two about basketball and he helps get them up to scratch.

The jokes feel identical to those in Anchorman, Blades of Glory and so on, as does the cast list. The majority of players in this are part of the same Saturday Night Live-era Frat Pack, so that likely explains the massive sense of deja-vu. Some of the gags are, however, simply hilarious. A game of cards that turns into Russian Roulette is much fun, as is the regular commentary from Will Arnett and Andrew Daly is gold, and the fight between Will Ferrell and a bear is completely stupid but at least more entertaining than the Doby sequence in Anchorman 2.

They didn't like his red and white stripes. It clashed with their blue and yellow piping. — They didn’t like his red and white stripes. It clashed with their blue and yellow piping.

Gags that work less well are the relationship between Monix and former love Lynn (Tierney), who is now shacked up with Monix super fan Kyle (Corddry). Whilst Monix and Lynn get it on, rather than being violent or angry, Kyle thinks this is the best thing in the world and decides to watch them. A touch creepy and the joke doesn’t really work – there’s three or four scenes of this sub-plot at most, and it doesn’t really go anywhere. I hate to say it too, but little effort is made to make the story appeal to non-basketball fans. This is fine, to an extent, but when there’s a lot of stuff in the script that’s unrelateable to the wider audience, you’ve already shot yourself in the foot. Ferrell vehicles like Blades of Glory or the similarly plotted Vince Vaughn movie Dodgeball work because you don’t need to know the inner workings of the sport to understand half of what’s going on.

It’s another typical Ferrell movie, which is fine if you’re a fan. As it happens, I am a huge fan, but there are several jokes that will deter a general audience – laughing about mental health is usually frowned upon, after all. With that in mind, no target is off limits for this script, and Ferrell is essentially the same guy he’s played many times before, only this time he has an impressive afro. It’s no work of art, and if you’ve seen Anchorman there’s probably no need to see this, but in my most humblest of opinions most of the jokes hit and the story entertains. Job done in my book.

Score: 3/5

American Hustle (2014)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-16

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They couldn't work out if they preferred Jennifer Lawrence or Amy Adams. A tie was decided. — They couldn’t work out if they preferred Jennifer Lawrence or Amy Adams. A tie was decided.

Twitter Plot Summary: Two con artists are forced to work for a slightly out of control FBI agent.

Five Point Summary:

1. Epic combover.
2. Amy Adams… yup.
3. A Mexican Sheikh?!
4. Live and let die!
5. Who cons the conmen?

American Hustle returns us to the 1970s (well I say us – I never saw them), shortly after Watergate and Vietnam. A hot headed young cop Richie DiMaso (Cooper) wants to make a name for himself by taking down some big names in politics and he enlists the help of con artists Irvin Rosenfeld (Bale) and Sydney Prosser (Adams), who themselves have been in the con artist game for quite some time. Their target is Mayor Carmine Polito (Renner), a big haired and big-hearted politician who’s trying to clean up his city, although his methods aren’t exactly kosher.

It’s great seeing the story, such as it is, gently escalate. As DiMaso’s ambitions get bigger and bigger, Rosenfeld and Prosser realise just how deep the rabbit hole goes, the longer they stay in the game the more trouble they appear to be in. This is emphasised when their scam results in the mob getting involved, and seemingly no way out for our eminent con artists. Events are also made more awkward by Sydney’s flirting with DiMaso, her on-off relationship with Rosenfeld, and the fact he’s married and has an adopted son.

Unsurprisingly given the calibre of the cast, the performances are excellent, each principle actor (and there’s quite a few of them) totally invested in their character. Bale puts in a typically in-depth performance, gaining weight for the role and perfecting an epic comb-over that defines the person that Rosenfeld is. Amy Adams too, is pitch perfect as Prosser, gently lilting between her native American accent and a Lady Penelope-style English accent that forms part of her con artist cover. The mask above the mask, as it were. Then there’s Bradley Cooper as the permed-up, super intense DiMaso, who’s blinded by the prize and fails to see the big picture. On that note, his scenes with Louis CK, playing DiMaso’s boss, are priceless and well worth the price of entry alone. Finally we get to the supporting big name stars, Jeremy Renner as corrupt good guy politician Mayor Polito (big quiff, normal impressive performance) and Jennifer Lawrence as the generally ditzy blonde bombshell wife of Rosenfeld. She steals every scene she’s in, almost effortlessly, but a particular highlight is her rendition of Live and Let Die. In yellow washing up gloves. Perhaps a cinema first, right there. There’s also a great cameo from a genre legend as the mob boss (I will not mention his name just in case folks appreciate the surprise), and on the strength of this performance it’s a shame that he hasn’t done more of this kind of stuff lately. Suffice to say, recent efforts in his movie work have been left wanting.

It’s a relatively long and ponderous film, but not worse off for it. In fact it’s filled with genuine laughs from start to finish. To describe it as a comedy would be incorrect, however – there are funny moments (DiMaso trying to get his boss to tell him the story of the hole in the ice for example), but it’s not laugh a minute. Think of it more as a drama with funny moments. There’s a satisfactory conclusion to the story, where each character has a proper resolution, none of which are arbitrary in any sense, but ultimately this is a film defined by its performances. With this many big name performers it always had potential. Thankfully, it delivers.

Score: 4/5

12 Years A Slave (2014) review

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-15

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"I stole this from the set of Sherlock." — “I stole this from the set of Sherlock.”

Twitter Plot Summary: Solomon Northup, a free black man in 1841 Saratoga, is kidnapped and sold into slavery.

Five Point Summary:

1. Kidnapped!
2. The hanging scene.
3. Cotton pickin’.
4. The flogging scene.
5. Freedom.

Quentin Tarantino may be in hot water by claiming slavery is not seen in cinema enough. This ignores Lincoln, which came out in the same month as Django Unchained. Plus, Steve McQueen (not that one) returns with his third movie covering that exact topic. Unlike Tarantino’s effort this isn’t a pulp Western. Based on the real memoirs of Solomon Northup, 12 Years A Slave tells his story. That of a free man kidnapped and sold into slavery. This is where he remained for… sorry, how many years was it again? That’s the extent of the story as far as narrative twists and turns go. But there is plenty of depth to all the characters. We have slave owners quoting scripture. We also have slaves living with their circumstances. There’s plenty to consider.

There are several scenes that are powerful. They include the hanging of Northup and the whipping of one of his fellow slaves. Both scenes feature extended uncut shots that emphasise the trauma and the horror. The intent is to make you forget you’re watching a film. These are powerful moments. So much so they remain indelible in your mind for a long time after the film’s closing credits.

Chiwetel Ejiofor puts in a stunning and powerful performance as Solomon. An intelligent free man who doesn’t give in to despair, which helps him through all the dark times that follow. Solomon doesn’t develop per se. But there is enough depth to his character in more ways than one. Ejiofor often tells a huge amount of story from a few facial expressions.

Fassbender wasn't wearing trousers or, indeed, underwear. — Fassbender wasn’t wearing trousers or, indeed, underwear.

Michael Fassbender also features. No wonder given that he is to McQueen as Johnny Depp is to Tim Burton. His cotton plantation owner Epps is unpleasant on the surface, but he’s got many layers. They reveal themselves gradually as the story progresses. He’s still an unpleasant human being. The characterisation and Fassbender’s performance make him an intriguing figure. Never a sympathetic one, though. That’s not quite the case with Cumberbatch’s slave owner Ford. He tries to be kind to his slaves. As a result, because he doesn’t realise he’s doing it, is all the more monstrous for it.

There’s another strong performance from newcomer Lupita Nyong’o. She plays a fellow slave of Solomon and is a particular favourite of Epps. It would have been more interesting to see her story rather than Solomon’s. But then that would have potential to be so bleak it would be borderline unwatchable.

I will throw one complaint at 12 Years, and that is the fact it never feels like that much time has passed. Everything is difficult and unpleasant, true. But it feels like Northup has only been in slavery for a few months. Or, at best, a couple of years. With that said, it would be an unfortunate couple of years if that was the case. We see almost every possible calamity that could befall a man ensconced as a slave. A few tweaks to show the passage of time would be more than enough.

Actually, there’s one more complaint. Despite being minor, it emphasises how futile the journey has been. It’s not a spoiler to say that Northup was eventually freed from slavery (that whole 12 years thing, remember?). The final text scrawl after he regains his freedom makes his entire story almost moot. It statest that despite being a free man justice was not served. The men responsible for his kidnapping did not receive punishment for their actions. Justice should be incorruptible, a constant, applicable to all. Yet despite everything he had gone through the system failed Solomon Northup. And that is perhaps the biggest tragedy of all.

Score: 4.5/5

Last Vegas (2014)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-14

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Another poor attempt at the "Reservoir Dogs" walk. — Another poor attempt at the “Reservoir Dogs” walk.

Twitter Plot Summary: After proposing to his much younger girlfriend, Billy’s childhood friends throw him a bachelor party in Vegas.

Five Point Summary:

1. He’s far too old for her, surely?
2. Singer in a Vegas bar. Oh, it’s Mrs Ted Danson!
3. Shouldn’t he be hanging out with his wife to be?
4. The truth comes out.
5. And that’s the ending we expected. Smashing.

The Hangover formula has been used many times since that first film in 2009, but this may be the first example of that template being applied to the over-60s market. Admittedly in the case of Last Vegas, there isn’t a weird and whacky plot where they piece together what happened the night before, nor is there a tiger or any possibility of Ken Jeong making an appearance. So far, so good.

Billy (Douglas) proposes to his 32 year old girlfriend at a funeral. They decide to get married in a hurry and naturally the best place for that is Las Vegas. He calls his closest friends, Archie (Freeman) and Sam (Kline), who offer to throw him a bachelor party. The only sticking point is the fourth in their group, Paddy (De Niro), who has issues with Billy after he didn’t turn up to the funeral of Paddy’s wife. Subsequently, the story follows them to Vegas where they get into some hi-jinx, learn a few things and try and resolve their issues.

The sections involving the characters rueing a life that’s gone by all too quickly are perhaps the best aspect of the film. In close second are those featuring Mary Steenburgen, emphasising that getting older doesn’t have to be the end of everything you enjoy – her character moved into a career she enjoyed before it was too late and the daily trudge of normal life stopped her achieving her dreams. At the less welcome end of the spectrum is how keen it is to leer over younger women, mostly in bikinis, but thankfully there isn’t enough of that to ruin the good will generated by the remainder of the story. It’s great to see these four legends team up, and the chemistry between them all is spot on. You could almost believe that these four have been friends for decades, and that’s half the battle won.

Men: like sharks swarming around fresh blood.

The important question, though, is is it actually funny? That’s a resounding yes, although don’t go in expecting massive belly laughs, this is an all the more gentle style of humour. All four of our main troupe have plenty of zingers to dish out, and Steenburgen shows an incredible talent for issuing a droll/sarcastic putdown. The script also wins for injecting a decent amount of soul to proceedings, as each of them deals with their own individual concerns about growing old (hip replacements, loss of libido, strokes , death and so on), yet it never gets maudlin.

What did I learn from Last Vegas? Apart from the fact we don’t see enough of Kevin Kline these days, very little. But apart from the lack of any substantial ideas, the occasional objectification of women and the incredibly linear story, I enjoyed it without having to engage my brain too much, and really enjoyed the interaction between the ageing quartet. Assuming it makes money (which is uncertain given the delays it experienced in the UK), then I would gladly see these four appear in a sequel. Let’s just avoid a trip to Bangkok, shall we?

Score: 3/5

Santa Fe Passage (1955)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-13

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Slim Pickens realised he wasn't going to achieve fame for this movie. — Slim Pickens realised he wasn’t going to achieve fame for this movie.

Twitter Plot Summary: A disgraced wagon train scout leads a wagon train through Indian territory, and things naturally go awry.

Five Point Summary:

1. Slim Pickens?! Sweet.
2. Getting blind drunk with injuns? First mistake.
3. She’s a squaw! Shock horror!
4. Arrow… in the chest!
5. Aww, bless.

Jumping straight into things, a Native American is smacked in the face by a wagon train scout. Suspecting a war party will soon descend on the wagon train, lead scout Kirby Randolph decides to head out and intercept the natives and offer them a trade and allow the wagon train to get home unmolested. Unfortunately Randolph and his buddy, a young Slim Pickens, are themselves the unsuspecting victims of a double ruse. After spending an evening getting drunk with the surprisingly small war party, try return home to find that the wagon train was attacked, and everybody killed. Time subsequently passes and the now- disgraced Randolph takes on the job of leading another wagon train through hostile territory.

This was my first western starring John Payne. Yeah, not quite John Wayne, but close enough. Payne is moderately decent in the lead role, a bundle of neuroses and weariness backed up by cold stares and the possibility of violence erupting from him at any given moment. His performance, sorry to say, is nothing above average. He lacks the screen presence of genre contemporaries like John Wayne or even the appearances of Clint Eastwood a few years later. Despite this lack of screen magnetism, he does at least remain somewhat engaging.

Try as I might, it was difficult to watch Slim Pickens in a serious role. He’s that well known for the likes of comedic roles in the likes of Blazing Saddles and Dr Strangelove that you constantly expect him to do or say something amusing. Alas, at every possible opportunity he plays it disappointingly straight. At least with films like this under his belt he no doubt appreciated the efforts made by the likes of Mel Brooks to spoof the genre. The entire set-up of this story also appears to be the basis of genre spoof Wagons East, which isn’t exactly a gem in its own right, but does at least have fun with the genre’s tropes. None of that in Santa Fe Passage unfortunately, a film stuck in its time before the knowing nudge- wink style of movie-making reared its mocking head.

His attempts to camouflage himself against the wagon were unsuccessful.

The location shoots, threadbare as they are, make little of the setting – it’s nowhere near as spectacular as it should be. The majority of shots take place on a sound stage which makes it look painfully cheap, and the location shots are, on far too many occasions, so close to the action that they might as well have been shot on a sound stage. At least then everything would have been consistent.

This being a 50s Western, there is of course a love story, although this one seems doomed to failure because she’s part Native American and he hates them with a passion. Part of his journey is to learn how to accept Native Americans, or at the very least accept her into his life because she ‘s not that bad looking and he’s unlikely to get very many offers given his unfortunate past. Heavy on melodrama, stereotypes and nonsense storytelling, Santa Fe Passage is hardly a classic, but it’s ideal nonsense for a Saturday afternoon.

Score: 2/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RpI_r7n0lA

Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-12

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"Believe what you want, kid. I'm still sleeping with your mother once I finish this film." — “Believe what you want, kid. I’m still sleeping with your mother once I finish this film.”

Twitter Plot Summary: The White House is attacked by Koreans and it’s all down to John McClane wannabe Gerard Butler to save the day!

Five Point Summary:

1. That’s an impressive opening assault.
2. Skulking around the White House…
3. KNIFE TO THE HEAD!
4. An attempt at a twist! Shame Die Hard already did it.
5. Fighting for the President’s honour. Or something.

What could be better than a film where Gerard Butler goes kill crazy and stabs multiple bad guys in the head with a knife? Well if I’m being completely honest, there’s quite a lot of things in this wonderful world of ours that are far, far better than that, but in terms of cinematic entertainment, with the cheese factor dialled up to 11, there are few finer examples.

Taking the Die Hard concept and adding “in the White House” to the title, Olympus Has Fallen was the first of two similarly themed films out last year to play out this concept, the other of course being White House Down. In this one, disgraced former Presidential bodyguard Gerard Butler is working down the road from the White House when a plane drops by and the building is attacked by distinctly Korean-looking villains. This opening attack is the highlight, the remaining action never quite living up to its choreography or impact. Indeed, after this our time is mostly spent following Butler as he shanks bad guy after bad guy in the head, whilst the villains cackle evilly in the President’s secure bunker and the President himself, a largely ineffectual Aaron Eckhardt, gets to play the stereotypical damsel in distress and subsequently has nothing noteworthy to add to the story. Other than being the president, of course.

The President suddenly realised why the Korean wanted him alone in the bunker.

What works in its favour is how serious everybody takes it. The “other” White House film revelled in silliness, fully embracing the daft idea at its core and was ultimately another fun, entertaining action romp. Olympus… has the same amount of fun, but maintains its stoic, poe-faced demeanour from start to finish. There’s nary a plot twist in sight, in particular when the President’s son is whisked out of the building. Just when you think it might all go terribly wrong, or there might be a surprise twist, he’s out of there and Butler can get back to his important task of shanking bad guys. Whilst it might have a serious demeanour, the script does occasionally have a bit of fun in terms of dialogue, none more so than when Butler has a conversation with the bad guys and invites them into a game of f**k off, with them going first. Genius.

In a secure location elsewhere, power is handed to the reluctant Speaker of the House Morgan Freeman. He gets to ponder for the film’s length, perhaps his easiest film role since he presided over the planet’s near destruction in Deep Impact. That’s a whole lot o’ sittin’ around you’re doing there, Mr Freeman. Much like everything else in the film, Freeman, the generals and the token woman in that room all exist just so Butler can explain how many bad guys he’s killed so far, how many more he has left, and to let them know how terrible their plans are for bringing the hostage situation to a peaceful end. It’s not big and it’s not clever, but Olympus is perfectly acceptable popcorn fodder.

Score: 3/5

Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom (2014)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-11

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He had just realised that he hadn't been able to cancel the apocalypse. — He had just realised that he hadn’t been able to cancel the apocalypse.

Twitter Plot Summary: The entire life of Nelson Mandela crammed into a 2 hour 20 minute run time. Something’s got to give, right?

Five Point Summary:

1. Is it politically incorrect for black men to “white up”?
2. Ooh, he’s feisty, is young Mandela.
3. Prison. Tiny cell.
4. Yay, they get to wear trousers!
5. Justice. To a fashion.

The announcement of Mandela’s death seemed to happen at the most opportune of moments, during the premiere of the latest blockbuster film covering his life. The cynic in me says it was all a bit too convenient, almost designed to build up more interest in the project. That is of course a ridiculous notion, however I can’t help conjuring up the occasional conspiracy theory. Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom covers his life from a young child all the way up to his inauguration as president of South Africa.

If anything it tries to cover too much in too short a period of time – certain key parts of Mandela’s life are covered in a whirlwind, almost blink and you’ll miss them because it’s already moved on to the next important historical event. There’s less of the man himself and more lip service to modern history as people understand it, but it’s otherwise a solid story. Mandela grows up and joins the ANC, seemingly after realising his career in law would not generate the appropriate level of change, he takes part in a spate of terrorist attacks that wind up with him locked away in prison for 27 years. This early-years Mandela is the most interesting part of the movie, most likely due to the extensive media coverage given to Mandela in his later years. This young Mandela is a bit of a maverick, and seeing some more of his life during this period would be interesting to watch.

The performances from Idris Elba as Mandela and Naomi Harris as his wife Winnie are very strong, as you would hope from actors of their calibre. Elba is course the focal point, although as Mandela ages in the film it becomes more and more obvious to my moderately young eyes that Elba looks nothing like the South African. That said, it only takes you out of the film for a moment, as again it’s worth reiterating that the performance from Elba is a strong one. There’s also a fair bit given to Naomie Harris, although she isn’t portrayed in the kindest light.

Her impression of wrestler "Big Daddy Cool" Diesel was massively appreciated by the crowd. — Her impression of wrestler “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel was massively appreciated by the crowd.

Once again that little indignant voice inside me decided to speak up, again at the injustice of persecution on the basis of race and skin colour. Without jumping on the soap box again, as I am wont to do on occasion, I can’t apportion any blame to the attempts at introducing a fair and balanced system in South Africa, although as I have stated previously in my review of La Haine, violence begets violence, a lesson we all could learn from.

Other than the whistle stop tour of history via the life of Nelson Mandela, there is little to complain about. Perhaps it would have been better suited to focusing on a specific portion of his life rather than cover every detail in broad strokes, but then when you’re adapting an incredibly long book for the screen (in the region of 600-odd pages) sacrifices have to be made. I read elsewhere that the adaptation would work better as a TV mini series along the same lines as Game of Thrones. I’d agree with that sentiment as. Mandela’s life was full of interesting events that deserve time to be told in full. But that’s for TV – as a movie with no specific focus other than Mandela himself, this is likely the best we’ll get.

Score: 4/5

Grease (1978)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-10

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Travolta's drunken YMCA went down a storm. — Travolta’s drunken YMCA went down a storm.

Twitter Plot Summary: Good girl goes bad (kind of), all to impress John Travolta. It was the 70s. But er, set in the 50s.

Five Point Summary:

1. Pink ladies – seriously?
2. The Blob!
3. That’s some effeminate hand-clapping at the ball.
4. Hand jiiiiiiiiive!
5. Do all Greasers have a crick in their neck or something?

Nostalgia is a funny thing. It tends to run in 20 year cycle, so by the 1970s the prevailing attitude was nostalgia for the 1950s. Perhaps not so much in the UK given that we were still in the depths of war-related austerity, but in the US there were no such concerns, so nostalgia for that golden post-war era of excess. Cue Grease, a 1950s set musical starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John.

Sandy is the new girl at school. She’s just had a whirlwind summer romance with a greaser called Danny and, on the understanding that they probably won’t see each other again, they part ways. The thing is, he’s a student at her new school, where she finds that he doesn’t appear to be as much of a romantic as he appeared. Is his wayward attitude towards women all just a front on his part? Well yeah, otherwise there wouldn’t be much of a film without some form of resolution between them. Their relationship isn’t so much a metaphor for how relationships should be, it’s a full on slap in the face. It’s all about balance, kids. No balance, no workee.

If there is any criticism, it’s that almost everybody involved looks like they’re too old to be in high school. Heck, in some cases they look too old even for university, which by comparison would have been far more likely. It’s almost a Breakfast Club/St Elmo’s Fire style affair, but without a second film. For the purposes of this review, by “second film” I am steering clear of the ill-fated sequel.

She'd just taken down his particulars. — She’d just taken down his particulars.

Thankfully, as is the case with many musicals, the songs are entirely enjoyable, conveying story through song effectively and succinctly. That’s all well and good seeing as it’s spun out from a Broadway musical. Without such catchy material the musical wouldn’t be as enduring as it is. It also receives brownie points from me simply for the fact it isn’t 99% singing. Those films have their moments and I’m not entirely against that method of storytelling, however I much prefer the stories where characters have proper dialogue interspersed with songs. Grease is a winner on this point.

The cast too, are impressive. Obviously there’s Travolta and Newton John as the leads, but it’s Stockard Channing as the “OMG there might be a creature growing inside me!” Betty Rizzo that has the real narrative heft. The rest of the cast – greasers Jeff Conaway, Barry Pearl, Kelly Ward and Michael Tucci, and Pink Ladies Didi Conn, Jamie Donnelly and Dinah Manoff – provide ample support in both dramatic and musical terms.

Grease has an old school, feel good charm, exploiting the established stereotypes to avoid bogging the story down with excessive character development. It’s also surprisingly funny, an acerbic wit running through the dialogue and character interactions. The script is also not afraid to tackle weighty issues like teenage pregnancy. The fact it’s also a frothy musical is almost secondary. Except, it isn’t. It’s a musical, people. Just go along with it and enjoy the ride in Greased Lightning.

Score: 3.5/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzWmxjYNfz4

Dracula (1958)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-09

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Dracula had an immediate advantage in the Tommy Cooper impressions contest.

Twitter Plot Summary: The Dracula story gets the Hammer treatment, this time with added Cushing and Lee.

Five Point Summary:

1. Christopher Lee: awesomeness.
2. Well that’s a bit of a twist.
3. He’s listening to a wax cylinder recording. Very forward thinking for the 19th century.
4. It’s starting to feel like the end of the original story now.
5. Sunlight! Oh noes!

Dracula gets the Hammer Horror treatment, putting a uniquely British spin on the classic tale. It’s essentially the same Dracula story as we’ve seen before, however there are a few changes to the established mythos. In this instance Jonathan Harker is aware of Dracula’s blood-sucking ways from the start and isn’t the helpless bookkeeper of the original. His ultimate fate also follows a new twist, so anybody expecting a straight adaptation of the Dracula novel will be disappointed. There’s also no voyage of the Demeter, and apparently no travel to England in any capacity, instead retaining its Bavarian setting despite everybody speaking the Queen’s English.

The key to it all is, of course, the iconic performance from Christopher Lee. Whilst Bela Lugosi played up his Eastern European routes in the Universal rendition, Lee is quintessentially British, oozing menace yet maintaining a stiff upper lip and a clipped tone to every line of dialogue. But then, he only has thirteen lines from start to finish, and they’re all directly to Jonathan Harker. Once Van Helsing comes along, all Dracula can do is hiss and bare his fangs. As for Van Helsing, he’s played to perfection by Peter Cushing, straightlaced and to the point and again flying in the face of previously established notions regarding the character. This isn’t some bumbling old man with a fetish for vengeance – he’s prone to throwing himself over tables and battling the vampires one on one. Well done, that man.

She really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really liked crucifixes.

What was once truly horrific now warrants a “12” age rating in the UK, which seems appropriate in this post-Saw era of horror cinema. It has a few images that have potential to upset a younger audience, but otherwise it’s fairly bloodless and light on what constitutes horror these days. Still, it does at least remain compelling, in particular some of the attention to historical detail – Van Helsing playing a wax cylinder recording of his own voice is a nice touch. The special effects too are done well on its limited budget. Much of it takes place off-screen, but a good use of cuts and transitions mean the effect is just as powerful as if you’d seen it play through from start to finish.

There’s all the usual symbolism – the ironic use of virginal white robes on the vampire women, the coffins filled with soil, the stake to the heart to kill the vampire, etc. It is also ridiculously pacy – the running time is a lean 82 minutes and you’re at the finale before you’ve had chance to fully appreciate everything that’s preceded it. Everybody seems to be in a rush to get to the end, which flies in the face of the majority of Dracula adaptations which are content with maintaining a slow, deliberate pace. Despite the increased pace and the liberties taken with the original story, Hammer’s take on Dracula is a huge success. It looks great and, despite the occasional cheap bit of scenery and occasionally cheap bit of acting, it’s hard to level any complaints in its direction.

Score: 4/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIuj6Y37XbI

All Is Lost (2013)

By

Simon Prior

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2014-01-08

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Twitter Plot Summary: Our Man is out at sea by his lonesome. His will to live is tested by the elements as one disaster after another befalls him.

Five Point Summary:

1. Shipping container. Full of shoes.
2. Storm force one.
3. Adrift.
4. A well-earned expletive.
5. One final roll of the dice.

Adrift, alone at sea on his yacht, Our Man wakes to find a shipping container has knocked a hole in the hull and sea water is sloshing into the cabin. What follows is one mishap after another, a series of events designed to test even the most hardy of souls.

All Is Lost is an aberration, a call-back to the golden era of silent movies where actions spoke louder than words. Other than about 5 lines of dialogue and a well used F-bomb, Redford barely says a word. This lack of dialogue puts everything on the not inconsiderable shoulders of Redford, and he carries it admirably. The amount of nuance he puts into the smallest of things is incredible, the act of just staring into the distance at an oncoming storm tells you everything you need to know about his thoughts, feelings and fears. It’s also worth noting that this is only the second feature length effort from director JC Chandor, who also wrote the script. This is astounding in itself, for the depth of the story alone, let alone the skills required to direct the thing and keep it interesting.

He had an unspeakable bond with his yacht. He called her Elsie.

Produced from a 31 page script, other than a couple of brief moments of repetitiveness, where one event reoccurs under ever so slightly different circumstances, it never feels padded out or needlessly expanded on. We are given scant details about Our Man (for he has no given name) other than that he is sailing alone somewhere in the Indian Ocean. At times it looks like we might get to see into his life, of his existence away from the waves, but other than the opening monologue and a few teasing scenes this aspect of his existence is entirely ignored. This is one instance where less is definitely more, creating questions for the audience that don’t necessarily need an answer. Instead the focus is entirely on his will to survive, to battle the odds mounting against him. And at times those odds seem somewhat fantastical, as if some unseen force is deliberately testing this 77 year old man just to see what he will do. The answer is of course to fight for his life. No matter what is thrown at him, Our Man fights back for all he’s worth, giving us a compelling insight into the human desire for self preservation. It’s a spiritual journey as much as it is a physical one. Clearly Our Man has some issues to resolve and that is the whole purpose of his trip.

To sum up, All Is Lost is powerful, moving, and an insight into the thing inside us that motivate us to survive, to progress, to never give up. Its minimalist approach helps draw focus to the real meat of the story, and bearing in mind how little there is to the script, the aforementioned 31 pages, it could have easily become a tedious, drawn out affair. Thankfully it isn’t, and is fully deserving of the accolades heading its way.

Score: 5/5

SIMONPRIOR.COM

Twitter Plot Summary: Solomon Northup, a free black man in 1841 Saratoga, is kidnapped and sold into slavery.

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