The Replacement Killers (1998)

2014-07-16

She wasn't aware of the "Classic Hero Pose". — She wasn’t aware of the “Classic Hero Pose”.

Twitter Plot Summary: A hitman develops a conscience and has to defend himself from… replacement killers. And Mira Sorvino’s lack of suitable attire.

Five Point Summary:

1. Michael Rooker has an awesome goatee.
2. I’m not confident in her forgery skills.
3. There’s always an obligatory quiet scene before more chaos ensues.
4. Impassive, unemotional Danny Trejo is always a winner.
5. A final showdown in an alleyway? Okay, it kinda works.

Who hits the hitman? Another hitman, obviously. Chow Yun Fat is a contract killer whos develops a conscience and finds himself unable to kill anymore in this 1998 movie, which also stars Michael Rooker (and his impressive goatee), Mira Sorvino, Jurgen Prochnow (of Das Boot fame), and an appearance from Mr Geriaction himself, Danny Trejo. When Yun Fat’s John Lee chooses not to kill Michael Rooker’s police officer Zedkov in revenge for the death of crime kingpin Terence Wai’s (Tseng) son (deep breath…), he sends a bunch of replacement killers after Lee as a form of deadly penance. Lee, along with Sorvino’s Meg, then spend the rest of the film trapped between the criminals and the police, forming a grudging respect whilst trying to survive the onslaught sent against them. There isn’t much more to the story than this, but then there doesn’t need to be. Man seeks revenge ans he’s going to get it, one way or the other.

1998 marked what appears to be the peak of Mira Sorvino’s career, which is a shame because she’s not that bad at all here, holding her own against Chow Yun Fat and Jurgen Prochnow. Her character is not your typical female lead in that she’s actually quite handy with a gun and, contrary to the standard cliches, is not in constant need of rescuing. She also spends most of her time running around with her shirt completely unbuttoned so she’s basically running around with her bra on full display. That may be 90s fashion, or it may just be an excuse to show off Mira’s assets, such as they are.

Jurgen Prochnow gets to display his ruthless German efficiency whilst dishing out pain with a machine gun, whilst Danny Trejo doesn’t get any dialogue but does his early career thing of looking menacing. Chow Yun Fat is his usual competent self, adept in both action sequences and the occasional quieter moments. There’s even a very brief appearance from that Asian dude who was one of Hans Gruber’s henchmen in Die Hard – seriously, that guy must have died in hundreds of films by now.

One thing they never seem to learn in these films is that eventually – when the story necessitates it – you will run out of bullets if you insist on firing your gun constantly, even when there’s nobody around to shoot. Still, the trademark gun-fu and excessive gun fire does the job nicely, and it has all the style and flair of a modern martial arts action film.

It’s not a story that is all that unique or original, but that’s never stopped this type of film being thoroughly enjoyable in the past – if the action works, and here it does, then any basic plot can be forgiven. It maintains freshness through being an American film from an American director yet maintaining the feel of a traditional martial arts movie like Hard Boiled. It might suffer a little from absent villain syndrome – the bad guys aren’t in it nearly enough to come across as anything more than moderately incompetent, but the buddy pair of Yun Fat and Sorvino is sufficient and, even better, there isn’t a romance angle crammed in for the sake of it.

Score: 3.5/5

Equilibrium (2002)

Simon Prior

2014-07-15

The dog's decision to urinate at that exact moment was ill-judged. A Bale-sized rant was imminent. — The dog’s decision to urinate at that exact moment was ill-judged. A Bale-sized rant was imminent.

Twitter Plot Summary: In a future fascistic state, emotion is forbidden. Christian Bale’s cleric fights back against the system.

Five Point Summary:

1. Sean Bean’s in it for a bit.
2. Why is Taye Diggs smiling all the time?
3. The dog is always your downfall.
4. Starting to get the urge to punch Diggs in the face.
5. Face slicing goodness!

In a future fascistic state of Libria in the aftermath of World War 3 – and if you weren’t clear on this, there are numerous clips of Adolf Hitler and his Nazi regime prominently used to emphasise the point – Sean Pertwee gives an oratory about restricting human emotion and thus reducing the threat of war and all that jazz. And so in this dystopia world emotion is forbidden but a plucky group of freedom fighters battle against the system in a society that has given up on the arts, creativity and, apparently, all colour beyond blacks, greys and browns.

The casting of both Sean Bean and Sean Pertwee is liable to send genre fans mad with delight, especially if they are aware of their previous works and know what fate ultimately awaits most of their characters. Thankfully there are a few twists and turns, and not just for these characters, although perhaps not enough to give the story any real depth.

Stylish and full of post-Matrix special effects, Equilibrium owes its visual style to the likes of George Orwell’s 1984, with an added dash of science fiction classic Metropolis for good measure. Whilst both of those works are heavy on their social satire, Equilibrium is no different, but it could have gone much further than it did. The Prozium used to enslave the populace is clearly not being used by those higher up in the echelons of Libria, subtly emphasising the hypocrisy at play. That might also go some way to resolving the problem that is Taye Diggs and his photogenic smugness. Seriously, if you’re not on the Prozium then remember not to spend the whole film smirking like a poor man’s Cheshire Cat.

In terms of the Gun Kata, as the martial arts gunwork is dubbed, the set pieces are nicely spaced out and well choreographed, with guns and swords flying left, right and centre in a display of orchestrated violence. It’s this aspect in particular that director Kurt Wimmer manages to get spot on, even if his script writing skills lack polish. The big themes on display are sufficient, but you get the feeling that not enough time has been dedicated to letting them breathe within the film itself – instead what we have is something that is as equally heavy-handed in delivering the “Big Message” as it is light on details.

Bale’s Preston begins as an emotionless automaton who slowly comes to realise that there’s more to life than simply carrying out orders; that art, creativity and displaying emotion are what make life worth living rather than the fascist state’s insistence that emotion is the root cause of all society’s ills. The finale is rife with symbolism, as the newly awakened Bale is switched from black to a white outfit, entirely out of context other than to symbolically emphasise his separation from the state, leading to the final showdown. Beyond this there isn’t much depth to the narrative, an opportunity to be considered on par with the aforementioned 1984 is ignored in exchange for a couple of fun action sequences and perhaps a realisation on Wimmer’s part that he’s not adept at providing that level of narrative depth. And what message can we take from Equilibrium overall? Fascism just doesn’t work, and Christian Bale is darn handy with a gun. And a sword. And the occasional rant at a crew member.

Score: 3.5/5

The ABC’s Of Death (2012)

Simon Prior

2014-07-14

Twitter Plot Summary: 26 short films, one for each letter of the alphabet, about death.

Five Point Summary:

1. D is for Dogfight.
2. O is for Orgasm.
3. T is for Toilet.
4. U is for Unearthed.
5. W is for WTF!

Anthology formats, by their very nature, tend to be a hit and miss affair. The ABC’s of Death is an interesting concept which compiles the styles and talents of 26 different directors as they each have creative control over their short films about death, one for each letter of the alphabet. Suffice to say, it’s a film that is a good idea in principle but is mostly lacking in its execution.

There are some good ideas, some bad, and some outright weird, A Is For Apocalypse gets things off to a good start, some impressive effects mixed with a slightly disconcerting tale. D Is For Dogfight is a slow motion underground fight with an interesting twist and, whilst extremely odd is also very well structured with a good payoff. O Is For Orgasm is an interesting collage of colours and sounds that represents… well, that, but with more of a David Carradine message rather than one derived solely from pleasure – this is the ABC’s of Death after all. U Is For Unearthed is also worthy of mention, a first person perspective vampire tale that is simple but effective and a perfect example of what the format can do. But then, it is directed by Ben Wheatley, so you’d expect it to be good. T Is For Toilet was a competition entry that was permitted into the final film, and the crude claymation approach is surprisingly charming. Finally there’s W Is For WTF!, where clown zombies rear their freakish faces and the whole thing plays like a Chris Morris sketch.

You know it's a bad day when you're eaten alive by zombie clowns. — You know it’s a bad day when you’re eaten alive by zombie clowns.

Sadly examples like this are few and far between, as the majority of the stories err on the side of awful, with a hint of mediocre on occasion. L is for Libido is twisted, apparently just for the sake of it, with men strapped to chairs and forced to watch gradually more disturbing actions played out live in front of them, with the one who doesn’t find it the most sexually alluring finding himself on the wrong end of a deadly anal probe. This marks the most disturbing of the bunch, although F Is For Fart is an exercise in Japanese weirdness that isn’t too dissimilar in tone to Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead. That tone of course is “incredibly weird”. M Is For Miscarriage is almost pointless and would have been better doing something completely different or, even, worthwhile.

It’s not terribly scary – always a risk when you throw 26 short movies together like this – in fact much of the tales are just plain weird rather than anything else, in fact they’re arguably played for laughs rather than any attempt at eliciting genuine scares from its audience. If considered from this angle then ABC’s of Death is much more successful as a comedy than a horror vehicle. Perhaps giving each director carte blanche to do as they please is both a positive and a negative. With additional input from an overall producer it may have ended up having a bit more focus and not the haphazard collection that we’ve been given.

Score: 2.5/5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIHmP9XO4KA

The Big Bus (1976)

Simon Prior

2014-07-13

They couldn't afford an actual hospital, it seems. — They couldn’t afford an actual hospital, it seems.

Twitter Plot Summary: The spoof disaster movie story of the first nuclear powered bus as it travels from New York to Denver.

Five Point Summary:

1. Doctor in the parking lot.
2. Broken carton of milk.
3. He may have eaten a foot. Once.
4. Bomb threat!
5. Hanging on a ledge.

Coming from similar stock to the ludicrously funny Airplane style movie, The Big Bus lampoons that stalwart favourite of 1970s cinema – the disaster movie. This time it’s not a big building on fire, an airplane crash or even a giant cruise ship being overturned by a freak wave. No, this is all about… wait for it… a double decker nuclear powered bus. This isn’t just any run of the mill bus though, featuring a ten pin bowling lane, a built-in bus-wash, and an indoor swimming pool – the height of 70s beige opulence.

Driving the nuclear bus are outsiders Dan Torrance (Bologna), who is reviled by his fellow bus drivers for supposedly eating 110 passengers following an ill-fated bus crash on Mount Diablo, and a moustachioed co-driver by the name of Shoulders (Beck). The project is led by Stockard Channing’s Kitty Baxter after a terrorist bomb takes her father out of commission. As tradition dictates, Kitty and Torrance were once a couple just to add an element of frisson to the journey. And it wouldn’t be a disaster movie if there wasn’t some epic threat to everyone’s lives. Thus, a bomb is planted on the bus and it’s a race against time, so to speak, to stopping the slightly nefarious plans and make it to Denver in one piece.

The secondary cast features a number of what would later become famous faces, of you know who to look for of course – Larry Hagman appears as a strict yet slightly incompetent doctor, whilst Rene Auberjonois (later to appear as Odo in Star Trek DS9) shows up as a young priest questioning his beliefs and asking “Where is your God now, old woman?”

The humour may not be as refined as the later Airplane or Naked Gun films, but that doesn’t stop it from remaining incredibly funny. Silly little jokes like two men in radiation suits bumping into everything as they plod forwards, or an evil villian (Ferrer) spending the entire movie plotting the destruction of the bus from the comfort of his iron lung, or even an overly amorous couple whose divorce is due to go through at midnight throwing themselves at each other at every opportunity.

In this line of humour the best approach is to play it completely straight, and that’s precisely what they do. Maintaining a stern appearance in the face of inherent silliness, the cast push it through but lack the chops to elevate it into anything more than a relatively unknown cult favourite. Airplane clearly stole the format and improved it by making it a hundred times funnier, and if you look close enough (or not actually – it’s quite blatant) there are elements of Speed to the story. It’s more hit and miss than it should be and the final act slows everything down far too much, but The Big Bus does at least get the tone of the 70s disaster movie spot on, and manages to have some fun with the notion of a bus running on nuclear power. But then, is there anything else you can do with that notion other than have fun with it?

Score: 3/5

Bear Force One (2010)

Simon Prior

2014-07-12

Yeah, it looks terrible. Just go with it.

Twitter Plot Summary: Spoofing big budget action thrillers, Bear Force One sees the President’s plane attacked by… bearorists.

Five Point Summary:

1. This looks terrible…
2. Warming up to it. It’s very silly.
3. Bears go boom. Blood everywhere.
4. Yet more bears.
5. Killer Koalas!

Some films are never meant to be taken seriously. Take short film Bear Force One, for example. This is a film that sits almost uncomfortably on the borderline between being absolutely terrible and being absolutely genius because it’s so absolutely terrible. There’s no middle ground here – either you’re in on the joke and you find it funny, or you’re not in on the joke and you hate it. Or, technically, you could also be in on the joke and still find it awful, in which case you have no soul.

The plot, such as it is, sees the President’s airplane Air Force One taken over by an array of terrorist bears and poorly disguised humans who are sympathisers to the bear’s cause. It becomes a reach against time for the President and the remaining survivors to retake the plane by fighting back against the bears and defusing the bomb that is due to explode very shortly. There are twists and turns aplenty, lovingly parodying the twisty turn narratives of those bigger budget action thrillers that usually star Steven Seagal, Kurt Russell or any other action star from the 1980s.

Oh no, what's going on? And does it matter? — Oh no, what’s going on? And does it matter?

Of course, the fact it’s shot entirely on a badly composited green screen needs to be mentioned, lest you tune in and expect something far more advanced to greet you. It’s blatantly bad, which adds to its charm. The acting too ranges from mediocre to completely awful, although it’s occasionally hard to tell if this is deliberate or if some of the cast genuinely believed this was a real production and were providing their best work. The bears are represented by crude, South Park-style animations which again are knowingly bad, yet all the more entertaining for it as a result. This helps deflect much of the criticism you could aim at Bear Force One, because it knows exactly how poor it is and exaggerates those aspects of its production tenfold. Suffice to say, it positively revels in its low budget naffness.

Laughs are regular and start early, which is for the best given that it has a total run time of 25 minutes. The laughs are generated not just through the script and its frequently terrible yet awesomely cheesy dialogue, but through the performances and that green screen work, all of it combining to make something surprisingly more than the sum of its parts. That’s without even mentioning the “bearorists” who attack the airplane, who amuse not only through their growls and badly animated movements, but also by throwing in as many different types of bear at us that, if you were entirely cynical going in, you would soon be won over by the onslaught of bears and over the top gore that ensues. In any case, once a squad of killer koala bears show up, that’s the make or break point of the film. That or the final fistfight showdown between the President and a bear. And if that doesn’t sell it for you, how about the catchy chorus from gay band Bear Force One’s song, “Bear Force One”? you’ll be singing it for days, guaranteed, and the film will be one that won’t be forgotten all that easily.

Score: 3/5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcurK_ala-0

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Simon Prior

2014-07-11

Something's about to go boom. Because it always does. — Something’s about to go boom. Because it always does.

Twitter Plot Summary: More Bayhem ensures as the Transformers become embroiled in a plot that is too long and doesn’t make much sense.

Five Point Summary:

1. Mark Wahlberg. Much better than Shia. Much better.
2. John Goodman. Good stuff.
3. High rise escape. Quite tense, actually.
4. So let’s just go to China because marketing reasons demand it.
5. Oh look, the Dinobots. Two hours in. Hmm.

So Michael Bay has returned for another round of the Transformers franchise, and brings along a fresh cast of human characters in what is technically a franchise reboot, yet continues the story established in the opening trilogy. Except it’s not a reboot, for all intents and purposes it simply rehashes the same story we’ve seen before. There’s a MacGuffin that everybody wants control over, and for some unknown reason the only method of disposing and/or protecting said MacGuffin is to carry it to the top of a tall building nearby. Yawn.

Michael Bay is a director who lacks any concept of subtlety, which in some instances works fine – The Rock and Armageddon (maybe) represent what he’s capable of At his best. These days however, and in the Transformers franchise in particular, he has lost sight of what should be at the heart of the films – big robots beating each other up should be fun if nothing else. You could argue that he never had this in sight to begin with, each passing entry in this franchise gradually becoming more ridiculous and ruined by bad scripts and a tendency to leave the camera so close to the action you can barely see anything.

The human cast are almost incidental, the story it wouldn’t suffer if Mark Wahlberg and co were excised from proceedings. What would suffer is the entertainment value of the film in general, as Wahlberg does at least raise the game when compared to Shia LeBeouf. His crackpot inventor manages to work out how to use alien weapons within a few seconds of getting hold of one and fully embodies the action hero role that the character was designed to inhabit. Jack Reynor’s boy racer Shane, meanwhile, completely subverts expectations by being afraid of everything besides driving a really fast car. Stanley Tucci meanwhile is very good as the scientist responsible for the majority of the lengthy plot, just keeping things on the right side of parody. It’s another bad day out for the ladies though – Nicola Peltz spends most of her time screaming for her dad, and Sophie Myles is completely wasted as a scientific expert. Early on it looks like she might have quite a substantial role to play, but this soon fades into nothingness and you question the reason for her character even existing.

Er, Mark? He's right behind you. — Er, Mark? He’s right behind you.

There was plenty of excitement from the Transformers fan base when it was announced that the Dinobots would be finally making an appearance, but once again this is an aspect that Bay gets completely wrong. Given no personalities and only showing up in the last half hour, they stomp around the place and destroy a few things before being released back into the wild. Let’s hope that if they return in the next film (because you can guarantee they’ll keep churning these out until they stop making money), they are at least given a bit of personality, and if possible have Grimlock the same as he is in the cartoon. In other words – entertaining. There’s also the small issue of Optimus Prime being a bit unpleasant and angry, but that’s a whole other discussion that would take too long to consider here.

It’s an incredibly flabby film that takes far too long to get to the point, does very little of interest with the content it presents to its audience, and is mostly nonsensical to the point of potentially confusing even the characters who exist within the context of the film. So in other words, a typical Michael Bay Transformers movie.

Score: 2/5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8HPIH5JCak

Mrs Brown’s Boys D’Movie (2014)

Simon Prior

2014-07-10

Not sure what the point of this sequence is - is it musical number or comedy piece? Apparently, it's neither. — Not sure what the point of this sequence is – is it musical number or comedy piece? Apparently, it’s neither.

Twitter Plot Summary: Inexplicably popular BBC sitcom Mrs Brown’s Boys hits the big screen. Like something brown hitting a fan.

Five Point Summary:

1. Threats about being bigger and better than the TV version soon discovered to be unfounded. It’s just as bad.
2. The first of several mistakes left in the film.
3. Racist Asian stereotype #3.
4. Starting to get gradually more silly.
5. Everything is wrapped up nicely. Except it isn’t.

It’s a bad sign when the funniest part of a supposed comedy film are the outtakes which, much like the original TV show from which this spins out, make the odd appearance throughout the main film and also run through the end credits. This “meta” approach to making television shows and in this case a movie is arguably the only aspect of the Mrs Brown’s Boys template that works, with Brendan O’Carroll frequently attempting to make his fellow cast members laugh or flub their lines.

The plot, such as it is, sees Mrs Brown having to ward off the advances of a local councillor who wants to close down the Moore Street market where Mrs Brown runs a fruit and veg stall. The market’s proposed closure is in order to appease the cliché Russian criminal who wants to use the site for a big generic supermarket. Mrs Brown then has to defend her patch despite the odds being weighed heavily against her.

Fans of the TV show will likely find much of it hilarious, however for the rest of us there isn’t nearly enough substance to justify seeing it. Irish comedy has been better represented in the past by the likes of Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews with Father Ted, or the nation’s strong lineup of stand-up comedians. The jokes are laboured and frequently aimed at the lowest common denominator. Why write a well constructed joke when you can just resort to a plethora of F-bombs?

The face most of us pull when we see Mrs Brown's Boys listed in the TV guide. — The face most of us pull when we see Mrs Brown’s Boys listed in the TV guide.

A poorly judged use of a racist stereotype (which in fairness is much of what constitutes the film’s list of characters) sees Brendan O’Carroll pulling double duty, donning a ninja outfit and a dubious Asian accent to play Mr Wong, the head of a blind ninja training school. These days there’s really no call for including this type of character, unless it’s done knowingly and with either a satirical or ironic edge to it. Clearly Mr Wong is neither of these things, instead he’s just an excuse for O’Carroll to portray a white man as Mr Miyagi.

There are a couple of good moments of pathos as Mrs Brown discusses bringing up her six children – although on the whole they’re barely used. It doesn’t matter that the Russian criminal plot doesn’t get a resolution because of the obligatory “Super Happy” ending for Mrs Brown and her family. It’s almost as if stretching a story out to feature length has resulted in O’Carroll running out of ideas at the halfway point and not fleshing out the story properly. It maintains a fair amount of development in the first two thirds but then degrades into a simple chase inter-cut with a courtroom showdown that drags and with few exceptions lacks any genuine laughs.

The overall result is noting that the cast and crew clearly have a love of Dublin, Ireland and all it stands for, but this in itself is not enough to establish it as a funny movie, or even a good one. Again, fans of the show will likely lap it up and call it a good movie, but then they would be bang wrong.

Score: 1/5

Skyfall (2012)

Simon Prior

2014-07-09

That's no way to treat Mr Bond! Oh wait, you're...? Never mind, carry on. — That’s no way to treat Mr Bond! Oh wait, you’re…? Never mind, carry on.

Twitter Plot Summary: Bond returns and he’s slightly older and grumpier. Still, at least the locations look amazing.

Five Point Summary:

1. Train fight! Blood! Gun shot!
2. A casino. Ahh, familiar territory.
3. Silva kind of, but not quite, seduces Mr Bond.
4. Public enquiry.
5. Skyfall is actually where it ends, Adele.

Making a Bond film in an anniversary year is never easy – just take a look at Die Another Day which managed to get the formula horribly wrong. Thankfully Skyfall managed to make amends for that travesty by providing a 50th anniversary movie that successfully blended aspects of the character’s history with a more intimate tale that explores Bond’s life and compares it with Skyfall’s big bad, an angry former agent gone rogue in the shape of Javier Bardem’s Silva.

Skyfall also acts in many ways as a Bond Begins style tale, featuring the reintroduction of classic Bond characters from the series’ past, most notably a much younger Q in the form of Ben Whishaw, whilst establishing that Bond is now an older, more mature agent at the same time. He’s also portrayed in his most broken form, a shell of a man who has everything to prove both to himself and to his employers.

There are plenty of nods to the franchise’s history, but unlike Die Another Day (the 40th anniversary movie) they aren’t thrown in your face and are tastefully used. Even the final act, which sets itself up as a Bond homage to Home Alone, works in context and marks a much more personal and understated showdown than the typical big and bombastic event that normally marks the last act in previous Bond adventures.

Whilst there are other women for Bond to sink his teeth/claws/tuxedo into – Berenice Marlohe being the main one who gets a bit of dialogue and a chance to slink her way through a casino whilst chain-smoking – it’s really Judi Dench’s M who is the Bond girl here. She’s been with the franchise since Goldeneye in 1995 and her M comes pre-loaded with a certain amount of emotional baggage leading into this, guilt for past transgressions whilst also facing a public hearing for the loss of important data that puts the UK’s entire undercover spy network at risk. It’s a plot that responds to potential criticisms as to Bond’s value and necessity in this modern age of technology and relative lack of “shadow” for undercover agents to operate in. Suffice to say, Bond and the spy world remains as relevant as ever.

Q. Much younger, much more "down with the kids." — Q. Much younger, much more “down with the kids.”

Silva is an even match with Bond, a distorted mirror image and an indication as to what could have happened to Bond had circumstances been different. Mainly if he’d turned away from romancing women and started dressing in striking white suits and betraying the Queen (or something). With the exception of one almost unnecessary and almost OTT use of CGI at a dramatic moment, Silva is an effective villain, understated yet flamboyant and always seemingly a smirk away from dishing out a killer one liner. The fact he never manages to fully cross over this line works in his favour.

The action is well handled by Sam Mendez despite his relative lack of experience in this area, but he’s a man who knows how to tell a clear story and this plays out in the action beats. Skyfall may also mark the best looking Bond film ever, with Roger Deakins’ gorgeous cinematography adding a remarkable amount of depth and style to every scene. It’s a clear indication that good cinematography cannot be understated, and it’s a shame that he won’t be involved in the next Bond film.

Does Skyfall mark the best Bond film yet? Possibly, yes – all of the constituent elements of a Bond film are present, but it also works as a standalone piece that doesn’t require a huge amount of foreknowledge about the franchise’s fifty year history. It’s thrilling, exciting, and has a cracking theme song. What more could you ask for?

Score: 5/5

How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

Simon Prior

2014-07-08

Twitter Plot Summary: Hiccup and Toothless return five years later and have to stop their island home being destroyed by a pirate viking chap.

Five Point Summary:

1. Mapping the islands.
2. A large threat looms, as do Jon Snow’s muscles.
3. Crazy cat lady with dragons.
4. Titans and death.
5. United against the common enemy.

Several years have passed since Hiccup and Toothless joined forces and brought peace to Berk, island home of a settlement of vikings led by Gerard Butler’s Stoick, and Hiccup has set about exploring and charting the local area. Unfortunately – and because the plot demands it – he encounters a group of dragon hunters and it then escalates into an effort to protect Berk from a far superior force led by sinister pirate viking chap Drago, voiced by Djimon Hounsou.

Whilst all this going on Hiccup is reunited with his mother, previously thought dead, but who is instead living on an island that she has turned into a dragons sanctuary. For want of a better term, she is like a mad old cat lady but with dragons instead of cats. Her role – wobbly Cate Blanchett accent aside – is in part to help Hiccup come to terms with growing up and increasing responsibility – something Hiccup is less than interested in, particularly as his father is positioning him to take control when he’s gone.

This series is never afraid to cover some darker themes – the first film did see Hiccup lose a leg after all. That sense of darkness continues in this second entry, with a surprising death that provides some emotional impetus leading into the final act. it’s around this point in the film that Dragon 2 manages to achieve a sense of epic scale that is an unusual sight in what is primarily an animated movie aimed at the children’s market.

Watch out Toothless, she'll probably try and claim ownership of you. — Watch out Toothless, she’ll probably try and claim ownership of you.

In an interesting twist, the characters have all aged since the first movie, essentially ageing in real time with their audience. Whilst this doesn’t play a huge part in the story other than teenage hormones rearing their ugly head, it’s nice to see them develop and grow as animation traditionally leaves the characters at a static point in time. Drago is quite underdeveloped as a villain, being evil apparently for the sake of it and not developing much beyond wanting to control everything. He’s got a lot of power as it is so it’s not that difficult to dislike him, but a little more than cliche villain territory would have enhanced his role considerably.

There are a couple of notable missteps – female characters get short shrift, Hiccup’s incessant belief that there is good in everybody means the plot doesn’t so much as progress as meander, and an ongoing gag about Eret (Kit Harrington)’s muscles wears thin after the first couple of mentions, but otherwise it’s a perfect example of how to present an animated film that appeals to all ages, and also to provide an epic sense of scale without losing sight of the characters or the story arc. Dragon 2 was oft-described ahead of release in similar terms to The Empire Strikes Back, and it’s easy to see why – the scale is ramped up, the story darker, and the threat to the characters we grew to love in the first film is even greater than before. It bodes the question as to how far Dragon 3 will push this notion of mature storytelling, and proves that the surprise hit status of the first movie was not a one-off.

Score: 4/5

Tammy (2014)

Simon Prior

2014-07-07

Funniest part of the film, tarnished by having to watch it in context.

Twitter Plot Summary: A mostly unpleasant woman goes on a road trip with her grandmother, and a laugh-free zone follows them.

Five Point Summary:

1. Ripping off Ace Ventura…
2. Let’s get out of here! (Do we really have to follow this pair?)
3. Holding up the fast food restaurant. Best thing in the film.
4. Welcome, lesbian women.
5. Something has switched in Tammy, and it does not compute.

Tammy marks the first film that Melissa McCarthy has written and starred in herself, following some star-making turns in Bridesmaids, Identity Thief and The Heat. What is unfortunate is that she seems to keep playing variations of the same character, to the point where it’s starting to get a little tedious. Tammy is no different in this respect, and she is undergoing a difficult time when we meet her, so based on that intro you know it’s going to be one of those typical “learn from your mistakes” stories. Except that right from the off it’s difficult to have any sympathy for Tammy or her situation as she’s plainly a horrible person.

For a film that’s purportedly a comedy, Tammy fails to hit the mark on multiple occasions. The biggest laugh is one that featured in the trailer, with Tammy trying to lock a pair of fast food employees into a walk-in fridge, which in the context of the film loses much of what made it funny when considered on its own. Beyond that, there is a distinct lack of jokes, or rather a distinct lack of jokes that work. It’s not a rapid fire approach to gags, but the ones that are fired out frequently miss their target completely. When Lumbergh from Office Space shows up along with his son (Mark DuplSs), an incredibly awkward budding romance between the son and Tammy starts to play out. This is neither entertaining nor believable, and is mostly uncomfortable to watch. Duplass doesn’t have much to work with at all, and there’s never any clear reason given for his character falling for Tammy beyond the script demanding it.

Susan Sarandon looks like she’s having fun as Tammy’s grandmother, who tags along when Tammy decides to get out of town after losing her job, her car and her marriage. There’s also a very strong performance from Kathy Bates as a lesbian woman who fought hard to make something of herself – and qho also has a penchant for blowing stuff up. Dan Aykroyd has a brief cameo towards the end of the film and is perhaps the best thing in it. Shame that he only shows up for a couple of minutes, and right at the end of the film no less.

Reading the script pushed them both to The Drink.

There’s nothing wrong with McCarthy herself, in fact she’s proven herself to be quite an accomplished actor in the past, and there are even moments here where she hits the mark. The real issue is the tonal imbalance that afflicts the film, switching from an attempt at broad-stroke humour to mawkish sentimentality and often finding itself stuck awkwardly between the two. Tammy’s character seems to undergo a mid-film personality change without it ever being explained. One minute she is brash, irritating and almost completely unlikeable, then suddenly it’s as if she has had an epiphany and morphed into the character she should have been from the very start.

It’s disappointing that McCarthy could not have come up with a script more worthy of her talents instead of what we are ultimately left with, but with any luck some of the negative feedback will find its way to her and her next effort will correct the mistakes made here. We can but hope.

Score: 1.5/5

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