The Beyond (1981) review

It was a choice between shooting the zombies behind them or the matron in front of them.

Zombies, a portal to Hell… it’s an Italian horror film, nothing makes any sense.

The opening sequence, a flashback to 1920s Louisiana and presented in glorious sepia tones, seems to be Lucio Fulci’s method of easing us into the horrors that are to follow. While a man is brutally flayed, beaten and finally dissolved with acid by a lynch mob for apparently being a warlock, the graphic violence seems slightly tamer for the fact it isn’t in colour. Then of course we transition to the present day, 1981 in this instance, and full colour along with it.

Fans of Fulci’s work will be in their element here. Blank stares abound, as do crash zooms and an almost obligatory amount of extreme violence. Mixed in amongst all of this is a plot that is, frankly, bonkers. The hotel we see in the 1920s turns out to be sat on top of one of the portals to Hell (killing that warlock was a bad idea, in hindsight), hence why there are all sorts of strange goings on and the dead are returning to life.

The characters involved in these events don’t do themselves any favours, often making stupid or life threatening decisions at the drop of a hat. But let’s face it, we’re not here for the plot really, are we? As long as a few zombies have their faces melted and a few characters die in a gruesome manner then we’re happy.

And that is precisely what happens. Eyes are gouged out, faces are dissolved, flesh is ripped from people’s bodies, throats are ripped out, and heads are blown completely off. Heck, there are even more eyes popped out of people’s heads, just because. Why only do it just once when it worked rather well the first time and you have the option to do it again? It’s a veritable banquet of practical effects on a grand scale, offering far more in gruesomeness and potential disgust than any CGI creation could attempt.

Captain Birdseye has let himself go a bit.

With that said, the fake spiders (and the fake face that they are walking on) are almost laughably bad with thirty-odd years of hindsight. And it’s not as if solid effects work wasn’t possible at that time – Rob Bottin’s work on The Thing was released around the same time and remains to this day a perfect example of what can be done with practical effects if a little ingenuity and perseverance is applied.

While there is a lot of violence and supernatural goings on throughout, the story itself has an incredibly slow build up to the finale, with an ending that, while possibly highlighting the inherent futility of life, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense without reading up on it afterwards. Thankfully the zombie related carnage and constant feed of character deaths more than makes up for this.

Despite any minor misgivings I might have, The Beyond is a thoroughly engaging zombie film despite the often derivative approach that represents Fulci’s take on the horror genre. It’s understandable why it was highlighted as a video nasty at the time, although if you strip away the extreme violence there’s very little to find objectionable.

Writer’s Block: Five ways to fight it

Simon Prior

2016-02-28

I have found on many an occasion that I will sit down to write and the words just don’t flow. Either I get distracted by the fact I have a big pile of books and films to read or watch, or something catches my attention out of the window, or literally anything else that could distract away from the fact that I need to get some writing done. We as writers are very easy to distract when we know that we need to focus. You’ve no idea how difficult it was for me to get all of this post done in one sitting. Well actually you probably do. You’re a writer after all.

For me it’s not usually about not finding the right words, although that does happen sometimes. For me it’s more about having so many ideas buzzing around that I find it difficult to focus on one specific idea or story without the others elbowing each other out of the way, desperately clawing at my mind and seeking acknowledgement that they are ideas worth exploring. Yes, they often are, but just one at a time, please.

With that said, I have also had my fair share of moments where I’ve been staring blankly into space, hoping that something half decent will pour out of my brain at that moment. Sometimes it does, sometimes it does’t. More often than not I get a few token words out of the way before going off to read a book or a magazine to try and restart my creative mind. It happens.

Anyhow, I digress. Here is a very brief list of five methods I use for combatting writer’s block.

1. Move to another room

Quite a simple one in principle. I find that moving to a different room in the house now and again helps with the creative process. A change in scenery can make all the difference. This can be as mundane as literally moving into another room, doing something else for a little while and then returning to your writing. Or you can up sticks completely, taking your writing from the lounge to the spare room or vice versa. I’ve found both techniques to work in the past, although it usually works out better when I have a dedicated writing zone where I can’t be distracted.

Surprisingly, this also includes being able to look out of a window. There have been far too many times where I’ve just stared vacantly outside. If you’re going to do that, get up and look outside from anywhere but your writing location. If you don’t, bad habits will form.

2. Write in a new location

This isn’t the same as moving into a different room. This is going out to a completely different location altogether. If you always write at home but find yourself stuck, go and spend an hour or two writing in a local coffee shop or the library. Get out, experience a change of scenery and use it to power your writing session. I do this now and again and I can confirm that it does help immensely sometimes.

3. Go for a walk

Sometimes it’s best to leave the writing alone and get outside to clear your mind. I’ve found that this can be a very good method of getting the words to flow again. And if not the words, then at least the ideas that will eventually allow me to finish what I’m working on.

It’s best to use this one when the weather isn’t too bad, of course. I’m not going to suggest going for a walk when it’s raining or you’re in the middle of a snow storm. But, you know, when the weather is appropriate you can head out and have a nice walk, declutter your brain and figure out a few story beats that you might have been stuck on.

4. Use a flip chart

I like to be organised, whether it’s in writing or in my day to day life. Organisation is key otherwise I would achieve absolutely nothing. This here blog for example requires a lot of forward planning and organisation on top of the writing, writing, writing that I do for it. How many hundreds of thousands of words are kept here? That hasn’t happened through blind luck, it’s organisation.

And that organisation has been aided in part by using a flip chart. I have two of them on the wall as it happens, and I use them for plotting out either a broad overview of my plans for the year or more specific ideas for one or more projects. It’s up to you how you use a flip chart to support your writing, but I use them for chapter breakdowns, mind mapping/brainstorming, narrative breakdowns and so on. A visual guide for where your story will go can be a great help at times.

5. Switch between projects/writing styles

Are you like me and have multiple projects on the go at any one time? Do you find the words sticking on a particular project, and you’re not making any progress? Then how about switching up your writing style and moving onto another project? Whether it’s the same format/writing style as the project you’re stuck on – be it a novel, screenplay or audio drama – try mixing things up and writing in a different style. Only working on novels? No problem, just move onto your second project and see how far you can get.

I’ve had success with this in the past, especially if the second project is in a different genre or has a distinct tone that separates it from the project I was stuck on. Occasionally this can have a positive effect on the stalled project too. By making your brain engage in a different style, suddenly solutions will present themselves to you and you’ll berate yourself for not thinking about it sooner. Trust me, it’s the writer’s way and this is perfectly normal.

As I always say, this is by no means an exhaustive list, but it can be a good starting point if you find yourself staring at a blank or half completed page.

If none of the above work or have worked for you before, what are your preferred methods? Is there anything not on this list that does the job? Leave a comment and let me know, I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts.

White God (2015) review

Simon Prior

There may have been a few dogs chasing her. Just a few.

Dog Spartacus.

Viewers who have a dislike of abattoirs and animal innards, skip forward a few minutes when watching White God. It’s a bit disgusting in the opening moments as cattle are sliced open and their innards are removed, but this whole sequence establishes the metaphors that run throughout the rest of the film.

Lili (Zsofia Psotta) is a 13 year old girl living in Hungary. She is swiftly left behind by her mother, who is heading off to Sweden for three months to teach, and is forced to live with her father in his pokey one room apartment. He’s a supervisor in that abattoir, you see. Luckily for Lili she has her dog Hagen with her, but he’s not a popular presence. Both her father and the local residents have problems with “mutts”, a result of the government’s levy on non-pedigree breeds. This is a world in which only pedigree dog breeds are welcome, with mongrels cast aside and shelters left overflowing with unwanted dogs. Soon Hagen is abandoned on the streets by Lili’s father and is forced to join up with other abandoned dogs in order to survive.

What’s remarkable are the performances pulled from Bodie and Luke, the dogs playing Hagen, and indeed all of the other canine performers. There’s no need for dialogue, their emotions and actions are as clear, if not occasionally clearer, than their human co-stars. People often find it easy to empathise with dogs anyway, but here it’s almost impossible not to feel anything for Hagen and his efforts to get back to Lili.

Chased by a group of somewhat dubious pest controllers, Hagen has soon amassed a large following of fellow abandoned dogs and, like a canine Spartacus, is soon leading a revolt of sorts against the humans.

It’s a bit like Homeward Bound in one respect, but a version that isn’t family friendly and has narrative touchstones with Spartacus and the best parts of zombie movies from days gone by. The humans involved in the story get their inevitable comeuppance as the unwanted animals turn on those that wish to imprison them.

This is probably for the best as, almost all of the human characters lack any remotely interesting qualities. Even Lili, who we are supposed to empathise with (to an extent at least seeing as she is our way into this story), is somewhat objectionable. This could be something to do with the parallels between her story and that of Hagen – once they part ways he loses his innocence, and so does she. Growing up and finding out the true nature of the world around her isn’t what you would call a fun experience.

Directorial flourishes from Kornel Mundruczo keep things interesting, despite the inherent strangeness of dogs fighting back in such a manner. It’s like a proto-Planet of the Apes, but with creatures that haven’t yet developed the capability of speech. On the whole it is a genuinely bleak place, albeit one with a hint of hope.

There are a few logical inconsistencies that have the potential to spoil things, but that is more on the human role in the story than the dogs, oddly enough. The ending is left open to interpretation and, whilst it goes a little bit weird, doesn’t wrap everything up nicely, leaving you the audience to decide how things will ultimately pan out. It’s a confident piece of filmmaking from Mundruczo, showing an eye for detail and an eye for visual storytelling rather than through dialogue.

Short Story: Freefall

Simon Prior

2016-02-26

Evening all, hope you’ve had a good week.

I’ve decided to do something a little different with my short story this week. This short story is a drabble, or rather, a double drabble. No, I haven’t gone mad, drabble’s are a real thing. A normal drabble is a story that can be told in 100 words. A double drabble is a 200 word story. Got it?

Then enjoy this relatively quick read. Believe it or not, despite its brevity it took a fair bit of time to edit and whittle down to something intelligible. I quite how this story is set up, so I’m giving serious thought to telling this story in regular, 200 word chunks. What do you think, would you be interested?

And so, I give you a little science fiction tale I call… Freefall.

He awoke with a sudden jolt as the escape capsule spun directionless through the void of space. Within seconds his muscle memory kicked in, his fingers flying across the keys in front of him.

The space was cramped, barely enough room to move his limbs, none that would let him lean forward in his seat. This craft wasn’t designed for long term occupancy.

He regained control. The capsule levelled off, the planet filled his screen. Most of the surface was covered in deep blue oceans, around two thirds. The remaining third was land mass, arranged in a wide number of continents, large and small.

On the ground were thousands of soldiers, fighting for one of the two sides in this fight. He didn’t know which half of the planet his side controlled. It would have to be a guess. The East or the West. The conflict had stretched on for decades, a never ending fight, a war without end.

Yet still he would fight. He must. It was what he did best.

The seconds ticked away. Which way should he go?

A weapon blast struck his capsule. The choice was taken away from him. He fell, powerless, to the East.

The Barber (2002) review

Simon Prior

It’s as if Malcolm MacDowell has never been in a good film.

Imagine, if you will, that Alex the Droog from A Clockwork Orange grew up and moved to Alaska, where he became a barber and continued his spree of murder and violence in a remote town that is engulfed in darkness for weeks at a time. It is a community that suffers quite noticeably with seasonal affective disorder (that’s just saaaaaaaad – get it?), and one in which any hint of criminal activity is instantly met with exaggerated despair and anger. Even the FBI agent that pops into town to take over the investigation finds himself suffering from its effects. It’s not a happy place.

It’s to the film’s benefit that MacDowell gets a first person narration. It fits in nicely with the slightly whimsical tone and plays to his strengths – namely, that he has a great, recognisable voice and that without this we would have a far less entertaining film. Matters are not helped because the narration segments reduce significantly in number as we draw closer to the finale, with greater focus is placed on the town sheriff and the FBI agent sent to investigate the girl’s murder. It’s telling that as MacDowell’s voiceovers diminish, the quality of the film takes an apparently related dip.

"If I look interested, I might get paid more." — “If I look interested, I might get paid more.”

It’s best ignored that MacDowell has no idea how a real barber acts – which I consider ironic for an actor. His hands move around a lot and he holds all of the right equipment (pair of scissors, a comb, etc. You know the drill), yet oddly no hair is ever cut and there’s never any blood despite the fact he frequently “accidentally” clips his customer’s ears. Maybe holding the scissors somewhere close to the customer’s head might have helped suspend my disbelief.

It’s also best ignored that the corpse of the girl they find at the beginning has difficulty in stopping her eyelids from moving. She’s not so much a corpse as somebody pretending – badly – to be dead. In the right light these issues could prove entertaining, and it’s this angle I decided to take on the film overall. To do otherwise and watch the film with a straight face would be a massive waste of your time. Embrace the silliness or just walk away.

Yet another part to ignore is the awkward flirting scenes between MacDowell and much younger waitress Sally (Brenda James). They’re cringeworthy to say the least, but for what become obvious reasons this isn’t a concern for very long.

The biggest complaint for me is that, having watched the DVD special features (yes, I went there), it seems that some lines and scenes were cut that would have made MacDowell’s character much more sinister from the off, and would have reduced the need for a voiceover. This is a sorry loss as it would have helped the film immensely, and made for a far darker – and far better – story. As it is, there’s a whimsical tone that sits uncomfortably with the story director Michael Bafaro and co-screenwriter Warren Low are trying to tell.

You might notice from this review that I have barely made mention of the rest of the cast. This is because they are, sadly, mostly forgettable. Tune in for MacDowell on his “in it for the money” autopilot and his droll voiceover, or don’t bother at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs_cqqAGLPQ

The Last Picture Show (1971) review

Simon Prior

My only other experience of Peter Bogdanovich’s directorial works has been through the rather excellent What’s Up Doc? which was and remains a perennial screwball comedy classic. So it came as quite the surprise to find him applying his more than competent style to a serious piece – in black and white no less – showing us the lives of a number of residents in a small town in the United States that is slowly dying in the face of wider expansion elsewhere in Texas and across the rest of the country in the early 1950s.

But then, all anyone seems to do in this town is snog, get naked and fumble around, such is the general state of malaise that is affecting the place. There’s youth here but it’s stifled, directionless, without purpose. What little entertainment can be found outside of these base endeavours is limited to a pool hall, a movie theatre and the local cafe – the latter of which is often staffed by Eileen Brennan who I recognised instantly after enjoying her performance as Mrs Peacock in Clue – another film set during the same era of McCarthyism, funnily enough.

There is a strangely non-erotic tone to each of the very many sex scenes, it’s an almost impersonal and awkward glance at small town relationships. The number of potential partners is limited due to the amount of people living in the area, and the interactions between the young, the middle aged and the elderly is perfectly captured and represented.

The main focus is on the friendship and gradual emotional growth of Sonny Crawford (Timothy Bottoms) and Duane Jackson (the usually excellent Jeff Bridges). Their friendship is often tested, occasionally breaks, but ultimately they are friends to the end no matter what happens to them or the disagreements they may have over how to live their lives.

It also happens to be an impressive cast. Not only do we have a debuting Cybill Shepherd as Jacy Farrow and Ellen Burstyn as her good looking mother, but there’s also Cloris Leachman, aka Frau Blucher from Young Frankenstein as a woman who enters into an affair with Sonny. It is their relationship, other than the friendship between him and Duane, that has the most depth as it eventually balances somewhere between love and hate, although Jacy’s boredom leading her to sleep with half the town (apparently) comes close to matching it. Lurking somewhere not far behind this relationship is the one between Sonny and his disabled friend Billy, culminating in a touching finale.

There’s um… there’s also Randy Quaid. He’s not too bad here to be completely honest, but there’s always a lingering thought of his role in Independence Day in the back of your mind every time you see him in anything else, even in films like this that long pre-date his role in the alien invasion blockbuster.

It’s easy to see why The Last Picture Show garnered awards attention at the time of release. On first glance the gradual decline of the town may indicate a story with a slow pace and something likely to limit your appreciation of the story, but instead it’s a potent character study that remains gripping simply because it represents a small group of people having to make do with what life has given them, and shows how different people may react to the same circumstances. In other words, it is a cinematic classic, and despite the completely different tone is equally as good as Bogdanovich’s work on *What’s Up Doc?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YQomR5xJ_Y

Return of the Tiger (1978) review

Simon Prior

"Suffice to say, I'm not Bruce Lee." — “Suffice to say, I’m not Bruce Lee.”

A woman beating up an arena full of men who are wearing black leotards. The foley sound effect of men being punched has never been used to such incredibly amusing effect. This is something that is used to an almost painful degree in just the first twenty minutes alone, resulting in sound effect overload by the time you make it to the end of the 90 minutes. Brace yourself for the most painful drinking game of all time – you’ll be on your knees within half an hour, guaranteed.

I’m perhaps showing my cinematic ignorance here, but I wasn’t previously aware of the “Brucesploitation” sub-genre of martial arts films. These were made in the wake of Bruce Lee’s untimely demise, often acting as unofficial sequels to his films. In many respects they are not all that dissimilar to the bounty of unofficial Django sequels.

In another light it would be easy to assume this just a cheap cash in on the Bruce Lee name – and that would be almost entirely accurate.

None of the audio is original, everything has been dubbed on after the fact. In other words, pretty much standard fare for this genre. But then on watching Return of the Tiger it’s easy to see why martial arts films were lampooned to such a joyous extent within the Pink Panther films.

A villain who isn't very villainous. — A villain who isn’t very villainous.

The plot is as wafer thin as a slice of processed meat. Bruce Li (no, not that one) is a cop who goes undercover in order to pit two rival drug gangs against one another. The main threat is posed by the beast that is Paul Smith, better known for his roles in Popeye opposite Robin Williams, Dune and, er, Red Sonja. He is a truly menacing threat, a mountain of a man who is almost impervious to any physical attack. He sticks out like a sore thumb, which manages to enhance his threat level.

Sadly this is not one of Bruce Li’s finest hours, despite a plethora of impressive kung fu sequences that could only be more impressive if the film’s direction was somewhat more structured. There are only so many crash zooms, strange sounding metal pipes being hurled around the place, and howling kung fu masters that one can take before things get terribly silly. The final act for example is little more than an excuse for everyone to fight and slap each other for 20 plus minutes. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, the sound effects might be awful but the action on the whole doesn’t disappoint.

But then we have the English dub, which isn’t great. In fact it’s borderline awful. What sounds like Captain Scarlet, the legend that is Francis Matthews, rocks up as the voice for the big bad, whereas the rest of the English speaking cast are almost laughably dire as they try, and fail, to interpret the original inflection and intonation of the dialogue they are being asked to spout. Still, it’s another addition to the drinking game if nothing else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgBQlW6OTr0

North By Northwest (1959) review

Simon Prior

Well, it's that iconic shot innit. — Well, it’s that iconic shot innit.

From a modern perspective, there’s something a little creepy about watching a 65 year old man get intimate with a woman who is in her 20s. This is one of the many delights of watching North By Northwest, also known to most people as “that film where Cary Grant is chased by a bi-plane”. Yes, this is the film with that infamous sequence sat somewhere in its rather bum-numbing running time. It’s a plot that doesn’t seem to want to end. Just when you think it’s going to move towards a resolution we get another twist in the story. At least it has a rather breathtaking final showdown atop Mount Rushmore going for it alongside that bi-plane sequence.

Despite my reservations about the running time, North By Northwest is a solid thriller. Cary Grant plays Roger Thornhill, a man mistaken for a spy and ultimately chased across country by the authorities (who want him for murder) and the bad guys who want him dead. The bad guys are led by the oft-imitated James Mason, a man whose name you can never say without doing so in either his accent, or by doing an impression of Eddie Izzard doing an impression of James Mason’s accent. Funnily enough, Grant’s character is merely an advertising expert, yet soon finds himself heavily embroiled in the spy world. Mason meanwhile oozes one part charm with one part sinister intent as the big bad, although as is often the case he doesn’t have anywhere near as much to do as he deserves – on the other hand, giving him more material would have made this a four hour film so we should count ourselves lucky.

"You may be Martin Landau, but try being Jemmzzz Messsonnnn." — “You may be Martin Landau, but try being Jemmzzz Messsonnnn.”

As for the main leads, Cary Grant is affable and likeable as Thornhill in spite of his permanently orange complexion, perfectly balancing bewilderment with a growing understanding of how best to deal with the situation he has found himself in. Eva Marie Saint, meanwhile, looks the part as potential femme fatale Eve Kendall. Is she exactly who she appears to be? You’ll have to watch it to find out.

In Hitchcock we can at least trust there to be a compelling human drama at the core of everything. Designing every shot to within an inch of its life can reap great rewards, and it’s refreshing to know that certain camera angles, plot points or key areas of focus have been specifically chosen by Hitchcock to serve a purpose. In this respect the film is a triumph, a demonstration of a master of his craft at work.

There’s a lot more to it than that iconic bi-plane sequence, obviously, but despite how solid the story, production values and performances are, you might still be wishing it would get a move on and get to the point already. If you have the stamina for it and you’re a fan of Hitchcock’s work then there is a lot to enjoy and admire in North By Northwest. If you’re looking for a much more reined in Hitchcock movie that isn’t going to give you bed sores then you’re better off seeking out Rear Window or even Psycho.

Why I use Fountain and Markdown

Simon Prior

2016-02-21

There are many different ways to get your writing down on the page. From Microsoft Word and Apple Pages to specialised minimalist writing apps like Ommwriter and iaWriter, or even the old fashioned method of writing everything by hand in a notebook. I’ve covered writing apps in an earlier post if you’re looking for something new to try out. Writing is a personal business, as is finding the write method for being as productive as possible. I can certainly appreciate the benefits of nice stationery and a decent pen.

But what about digital options? I’ve become a huge fan of fountain and markdown formats over the last year or so. For those not in the know, markdown is a writing format that allows you to use any text editor and type, type, type without having to take your hands off the keyboard. Basically, it means that any formatting you need to do like headers, bold text etc can be completed with keyboard shortcuts.

Fountain meanwhile uses the same principles for writing screenplays, putting the emphasis firmly on your writing rather than formatting. Which, let’s be honest, is always a pain when it comes to a screenplay. Rather than having to worry about where to place a character name or a scene heading or a direction on the page, fountain does all the hard work for you, leaving you to focus on putting words to the page.

It’s all about their simplicity. Plain and simple. Sure, you can get things like markdown +, which gives you a few more formatting options than standard markdown. This could be a little much at times however, so I try to stick with basic markdown for most of my writing needs.

The beauty of the format too is that you don’t need a specialist writing app to use markdown or fountain. Any text editor – even the basic text editors that come preinstalled with your computer – can be used to write in markdown or fountain. In essence, it means that I can write anything I like in any available text editor and at any time, then import it into an app that formats the content and saves me a lot of work. Quite frankly, it’s been excellent so far. While I still use the likes of Pages and Word on occasion, the majority of my writing still takes place in a markdown or fountain compatible app. All of this was written in Ulysses (http://www.ulyssesapp.com/), for example.

So rather than worrying about the formatting of my document or script, I just write. Pure and simple, without wanting to use a Hear’Say pun. If you don’t know who Hear’Say are, don’t worry – not many people do and it’s not going to improve your life if you seek out their music. Anyway, I’m getting stuck on the pop music point – moving on.

If you want to read a little more about fountain and markdown formats, I can recommend visiting the following websites:

https://daringfireball.net/projects/markdown/

http://fountain.io/

If you find that you can wrap your head around the syntax, you’ll likely never look back. Hope you get something out of this as I did.

Zombie Night (2013) review

Simon Prior

"Shall we see which one of us can cry real tears?" — “Shall we see which one of us can cry real tears?”

It’s one night both you and the zombies would care to forget.

The Asylum have a fairly bad rap for their slew of low budget mockbusters, but little is said about their otherwise original stories. Thus far I have seen a number of their efforts that have not been cheap knock-offs of current cinematic releases, and in almost every case they benefit from not being tenuously linked to a generally better film. Their zombie films, in particular Rise of the Zombies and this, Zombie Night, aren’t all that bad. True, Zombie Night isn’t going to win any awards, but as far as zombie cinema goes it’s nowhere near the worst the genre has to offer.

The story isn’t all that great, I’ll admit that much. A zombie apocalypse takes place and we follow a few different groups of people as they try to survive the night. That’s it. Anyone looking for deep narrative and characterisation is looking in the wrong place. Also bear in mind that you’re watching an Asylum production, just in case you weren’t absolutely clear on that point. The main thing it has going for it is the presence of a few big names – in this instance we have Darryl Hannah, suffering from serious Plastic Surgery Face (and if she hasn’t had plastic surgery…yikes), former friend of Ferris Bueller Alan Ruck, aka the man who told Captain Kirk the tractor beam wouldn’t arrive until Tuesday, and former Breakfast Clubber Anthony Michael Hall.

Somehow I don't think that barrier is really doing its job. — Somehow I don’t think that barrier is really doing its job.

The blood and gore effects are impressive, but they are let down by some terrible dialogue (frequently given to Darryl Hannah, poor woman) and a story that meanders and dawdles far too much for its own good. The zombie rules aren’t adequately established and in the end it just runs a few loops around itself and stubbornly refuses to use logic in any capacity. At this point you realise that you’re in full-on Asylum territory, and that you’re not going to get something even half as entertaining as their more competent features.

There’s also a distinct lack of tension, quite a poor state of affairs for a horror film. People make increasingly ridiculous decisions that are almost completely illogical, and when they do make decisions you don’t care at all whether they survive or make it through to the next scene. You probably won’t even love to hate any of the characters. Most likely you will be engrossed in tedium.

A bit of time spent developing the script would have been incredibly useful and made for a far more entertaining film. Gore and makeup effects will only carry a film so far before you have to rely on the characters. Unfortunately they are a mere reflection of real people, so there’s little to entertain you there either.

But as I’ve said, it’s certainly not the worst the genre has to offer. You can easily watch this and enjoy the brief moments of gore, but whether or not you find it worthwhile sitting through the vast amounts of nothing that surrounds the violence is for you to decide. It’s an exercise in patience as much as it is an appreciation of classic zombie violence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heJ9_DkoWvM

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