Thor: The Dark World (2013)

2013-11-28

Thor reacted badly when the bully ripped his incredibly rare MewTwo Pokemon card in half.

Twitter Plot Summary: Thor must help protect the 9 Realms from an invading army of Dark Elves intent on destroying the universe.

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Director: Alan Taylor

Key Cast: Chris Hemsworth. Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Eccleston, Jaimie Alexander, Zachary Levi, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Tadanobu Asano, Rene Russo, Adewale Akkinuoye-Agbaje, Kat Dennings, Stellen Skarsgard, Alice Krige

Five Point Summary:

1. Oh good, another MacGuffin.
2. Attack on Asgard – how dare they!
3. Loki does the inevitable.
4. Malekith – completely pointless villain.
5. Mid credits and post credits sequences. Don’t go anywhere. Well, if you’re into that.

I enjoyed the first Thor movie. Despite a few flaws it made a Norse God believable in the context of the Marvel cinematic universe, serving up an entertaining and mostly amusing tale of a God finding himself out of his element. Then we had the Avengers movie which had a heavy Thor/Loki influence so clearly those events would lead into this film.

After the obligatory intro that sets up our MacGuffin – a mysterious liquid thing called The Aether that has the power to destroy the universe – the warriors of Asgard fight against the Dark Elves who wish to plunge the universe into darkness. The Dark Elves are, naturally, defeated, but not before their leader Malekith (Eccleston) makes his escape and goes into hiding. Fast forward a few thousand years to Marvel’s present day and Jane Foster (Portman) begins investigating mysterious portals opening up in Greenwich of all places. Meanwhile, Loki’s locked up in chains after his involvement in the New York assault, and Thor has spent his time instilling peace across the nine realms, growing into his role as protector and displaying less of the cocky qualities that defined him in that first movie. The world itself has undergone a slight change – gone are the slightly unreal, golden vistas and replaced with a more lived-in, post-Game of Thrones style world. That should come as no surprise given that Alan Taylor has directed several episodes of that series.

Eccleston I fear is vastly underused. His is a mostly impotent villain, much less of a threat than his underling Kurse (Akinnuoye-Agbaje), who poses a serious risk to Thor and the whole of Asgard. Malekith by comparison gets to stare moodily into the distance and right at the end gets a tiny bit closer to being the villain that he needs to be, but instead is very much a wasted opportunity. Apparently he had some much meatier scenes when originally shot, but through the process of editing his character’s persona has been slowly wittled away. As far as the film’s narrative is concerned it works, but sadly to the extent that we don’t have much of a villain to root against.

Loki's prison library only held the 50 Shades of Grey books. He didn't mind. — Loki’s prison library only held the 50 Shades of Grey books. He didn’t mind.

Whilst The Dark World is enjoyable, it’s mostly because of Tom Hiddleston’s Loki and the way he tackles his dialogue with glorious abandon. He’s allowed to have fun with it – Loki is the God of mischief after all. It’s also a slightly different relationship presented between him and Thor, to the point where both of their motivations are clear and they are not forgotten or simply ignored. Rather, they are used to drive the story forward and it makes a refreshing change for character toi be at the heart of it. There’s also a little more for Kat Dennings to do, and whilst amusing, Stellen Skarsgard is lumbered with the comic relief role. Don’t get me wrong, I like the humour as without it Thor would likely be a very boring character in a very boring film, but after the events of Avengers Assemble (to give it its UK title) it’s a shame that he’s reduced to wandering around the place without any trousers on. Natalie Portman similarly doesn’t get much to do other than run around the place and be threatened by bad guys. The romance angle with Thor is there, of course, but for the majority of the film she has very little to do. And Thor (Hemsworth) himself? He does a fine job, but has less room for manoeuvre compared to the likes of Loki. As mentioned previously, without the humour Thor would be very dull indeed, so at least he has that working to his advantage.

So ultimately it’s mixed bag – some very good parts marred by over reliance on a MacGuffin, characters being sidelined for a variety of reasons, and a villain that lacks oomph. With no disrespect to these characters, I would rather see Marvel finish with a third and final “solo” movie and then leave these characters to appear as cameos/team members as appropriate in future Marvel projects. Whilst the Marvel Cinematic Universe remains financially solvent however, I doubt this will be a likelihood.

Favourite scene: The attack on Asgard. Lots going on but you don’t lose any of the detail.

Quote: “There is nothing more reassuring than knowing that the world is crazier than you are.”

Silly Moment: It’s all inherently silly, but the rock creature at the beginning being defeated so easily.

Score: 3.5/5

Gravity (2013)

Simon Prior

2013-11-27

Clooney was always a stickler for having the correct dress code in space. Clips were not acceptable.

Twitter Plot Summary: When The Russians accidentally blow up one of their own satellites, astronauts Clooney and Bullock try to survive the ensuing debris.

Genre: Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Director: Alfonso Cuaron

Key Cast: George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, Ed Harris

Five Point Summary:

1. That opening scene. Yowser.
2. Lost in space, and only one way of getting home. That’s if your oxygen lasts…
3. That’s a heartwarming conversation with some peeps back on Earth…
4. I thought for a second that the film had nuked the fridge, but no… back to reality.
5. And a perhaps inevitable ending. Perhaps.

I’ll admit, I was expecting greatness from Gravity. Cuaron is a master of the long take, as we have seen previously in Children of Men, which is a definitive five star film in my book. His style creates an almost documentary feel to his work, which in this case helps draw you into the drama. The opening scene is a breathtaking arrangement, swirling around in the vacuum of space as George Clooney’s Kowalski, a seasoned NASA veteran, rotates around the Hubble telescope on his gas powered rocket pack. Meanwhile Sandra Bullock’s Dr Stone, on her first mission into space, is busy repairing said telescope when Ground Control notify them of an incoming debris field inadvertently caused by the Russians. Cue an epic race against time (and low oxygen levels) in order for them to get back down to Earth safely. Cue 90 minutes of tense drama carried almost singularly by Sandra Bullock. To go into any more detail would spoil the story, but there is fun to be had in how Kowalski and Stone react to their situation, the hardened veteran and the green first timer.

As a script it’s quite basic, but when you take it in perspective alongside the rest of the film, specifically the visual effects and the score, it’s a masterpiece of cinema. It doesn’t ever try to be more than what it is, a simple adventure story, albeit one with some amazing visuals. It’s very rare that I say this, especially for a live action film, but Gravity deserves to be seen on the big screen in 3D. It makes full use of the technology in creating depth to the image and in creating a real sense of being up in space with Bullock and Clooney. There’s also a nice nod to Apollo 13 with Ed Harris essentially reprising his character from that film and being the voice from Mission Control in Houston.

Bullock was amazed at how Cillit Bang had made her visor sparkle like new.

Whilst the script is basic, there’s profundity to be found in the themes the movie chooses to follow. In Dr Stone we have a representation of all that humanity represents. She’s lost everything, both in her past and in the present, but she doesn’t give up. Okay there are going to be blips along the way because there always are, but ultimately the human spirit prevails. Of course, in her case it helps that she’s a brilliant scientist, but the point remains even so. There’s also the theme of nobility, of self sacrifice and maintaining a calm demeanour in the face of overwhelming odds. There’s also the aforementioned visuals which look amazing, and the score from Steven Price plays with our perception of the vacuum of space and uses sound (or the lack thereof) to emphasise dramatic beats and help conjure a sense of isolation in the great dark void. Of course, you could just watch the film and think “Crikey, that was really good!” Whichever way you approach it, Gravity is bound to have longstanding appeal. It’s debatable whether it will have the same effect when transposed to our television, there’s potential for it to be a far more diluted experience, but in cinematic terms at least it makes a definitive statement as to the possibilities of the art form.

Favourite scene: The opening sequence. Simply masterful.

Quote: “Half of North America just lost their Facebook.”

Silly Moment: Lucky George Clooney had a rocket pack eh?

Score: 5/5

Hitman (2007)

Simon Prior

2013-11-26

The barber had gone a step too far... — The barber had gone a step too far…

Twitter Plot Summary: Agent 47 finds himself embroiled in a political conspiracy. Based on the video game series.

Genre: Action/Crime/Drama/Thriller

Director: Xavier Gens

Key Cast: Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko, Robert Knepper, Ulrich Thomsen, Henry Ian Cusick

Five Point Summary:

1.That’s a very security conscious guy, right there.
2. Obligatory nod towards the video game…
3. Obligatory gunplay with Desmond from Lost…
4. Ooh, a rubber duck!
5. And we’re back at the beginning of the film. How droll.

You should know the score by now – movies based on video games are, on the whole, inherently bad. Not so the case with Hitman, which isn’t an instant classic of cinema but can instead be labelled as “sufficient.” The story is essentially your typical action movie plot – Interpol and the Russian police/secret service are after Agent 47, who himself is embroiled in a plot that sees him set up for the apparent murder (or not) of the Russian Prime Minister. 47’s attempts to get to the bottom of this plot are also impeded by the presence of Olga Kurylenko’s Nika, another target for The Organization (those responsible for creating Agent 47).

Elements such as the gratuitous nudity of Olga Kurylenko, whilst not entirely unwelcome (for obvious reasons…), only serve a purpose in emphasising how Agent 47 isn’t like every other action hero out there. Namely, that he’s not tempted by the sins of the flesh. There’s also a distinct lack of background with regards to The Organization and why they created Agent 47 and his fellow bald headed assassins, instead following a similar approach to the games and just throwing you in at the deep end. There’s a mysterious group out there that breed super assassins, now let’s move along. I’m also not sold on Timothy Olyphant as Agent 47. He’s a good actor, but I’m not sure he works as this particular character. There’s something missing there that I can’t quite place. If nothing else he is at least competent in portraying the inner turmoil of the character. The character of Niki doesn’t have much in the way of purpose, and all things considered I would have rather seen more of the interaction between Dougray Scott and Michael Offei, as their banter and style of delivery adds some levity to proceedings.

The Highlander Fan Club was clearly starting to show their age.

Despite these negative aspects, there’s also a lot to like. It’s unashamedly bloody and violent (although that may have been more to do with it being the Extreme cut rather than the no doubt tamer cinematic release), although this violence is rarely gratuitous for the sake of it. No, rather it’s set at an appropriate level alongside the source material, which is to be commended. Agent 47 gets several opportunities to show off the same skills he uses in the game – subterfuge, assassination techniques and good old fashioned gunplay. It’s perhaps less subtle than the source material in this respect, as more often than not events degrade into a gun fight or, at one point, a sword fight on a train. There’s also crowd-pleasing appearances by Robert Knepper and Henry Ian Cusick – fans of Prison Break and Lost are well catered for in this regard.

We’re all acutely aware of the movie graveyard that is video game adaptations (Street Fighter or Super Mario Bros, anyone?), but perhaps wisely the team behind the Hitman adaptation decided to not speak down to its audience and also, contrastingly, not try and elevate it above what it is – an entertaining action story involving a bald assassin. That’s a win in my book.

Favourite scene: The four way assassin fight. Very nicely choreographed.

Quote: “Eat your sandwich. I need to get some sleep.”

Silly Moment: The gunfight with Desmond from Lost.

Score: 3/5

Chronicle (2012)

Simon Prior

2013-11-25

He'd found a cool way to make a bit of money on the side. — He’d found a cool way to make a bit of money on the side.

Twitter Plot Summary: After finding a strange glowing device underground, three teenagers gain super powers.

Genre: Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Director: Josh Trank

Key Cast: Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell, Michael B Jordan, Michael Kelly, Ashley Hinshaw, Anna Wood, Bo Petersen, Grant Powell

Five Point Summary:

1. Oh joy – found footage.
2. Flying. Oh yeah.
3. Guess who dies first? Yep, got it in one.
4. With great power comes yadda yadda yadda.
5. That’s no way to make your point…

Chronicle takes the superhero origin story in a slightly new direction, combining that story strand with the “found footage” genre that has been dying a slow, painful death since The Blair Witch Project in 1999. Suffice to say, the entire found footage conceit here is unnecessary and adds little to the story, but thankfully it manages to rise above this and turns into a pretty decent film. Our focus is on three friends – Andrew, Matt and Steve. After discovering a strange glowing object underground in the forest, they all start developing superhuman abilities – telekinesis, flight and so on. So far, so bog standard.

The script from Max Landis, son of John, is sufficiently zingy and captures the reality of how teens interact with one another. Throw in randomly acquired superpowers and there’s a disaster just waiting to happen. Specifically Dane DeHaan’s Andrew, an almost perma-sulk resides on his face as he’s bullied and looked down on by his contemporaries. It probably doesn’t help him much by carrying a professional-sized video camera around the place. Of the three characters he gets the most background detail – his dad is an alcoholic and his mum is terminally ill. By comparison Matt gets a love story with fellow camera addict Casey (funny how someone else just happens to be wandering around with a video camera…), whereas Steve has the least to do. Unfortunately he seems like the forgotten middle character of the trio, barely having opportunity to do much other than act as the middle guy between the two poles of Andrew and Matt. In more positive news, it’s quite a slow burn for the majority of the running time, seeing the trio learn how to control their powers and doing that teenage thing of creating freak gusts of wind so they can see up girl’s skirts, or playing catch up in the clouds after realising they had the power to levitate and fly.

With great power comes... a great big bus! — With great power comes… a great big bus!

It develops as the darker side of having incredible powers starts to assert itself in the second half. It’s not an unexpected turn towards darkness and it’s introduced gradually so as not to clash too severely with the fun and teenage banter of the opening hour. When the darkness does creep in, it’s yet another twist on the super villain concept, grounded as close as it can be to reality and is another aspect of the genre that’s been approached in a clever way.

It’s a fun twist on the traditional “origin story” superhero film and is perhaps a more accurate representation of how teenagers would actually act if they were gifted with superhuman abilities rather than the idealised portrayal of them as seen in just about every superhero movie ever made. If anything lets it down, it’s the found footage conceit. It really doesn’t help matters. By all means show the characters acting the way they do, but we don’t need it to be found footage. Still, as the first feature from Josh Trank, the first feature length script from Max Landis, and a breakout performance from Dane DeHaan, it’s an impressive piece of work.

Favourite scene: Playing catch up in the clouds…

Quote: “See, it’s different, ’cause you’ve always had friends, and people want to talk to you and be around you. I never had any of that. I mean, before this, I barely even hung out with Matt, and he’s my cousin. We were close when were little, but- I don’t know. In high school, everything changed.”

Silly Moment: Walking around with big semi-pro video cameras? Just make an ordinary superhero movie!

Score: 3.5/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-M5Qx57_UU

Zombie Driller Killer (2010)

Simon Prior

2013-11-24

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with the drill. Kill people or put up some shelves? — He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with the drill. Kill people or put up some shelves?

Twitter Plot Summary: A girl is attacked by a guy in an orange jumpsuit. Her father seeks revenge. There’s black bloop involved.

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Director: Cesar Ducasse, Mathieu Peteul

Key Cast: Morten Ruda, Kyrre Haugen Sydness, Ida Elise Broch, Johanna Gustavsson, Jan Harstad

Five Point Summary:

1. Guy in an orange jumpsuit with a power drill. Interesting…
2. Just when you think it’s going to be a zombie film, she doesn’t bite him. Bah.
3. So he has a drill, yet all he does is gently tap on the windscreen with it. Buh?
4. Black goo! BLACK GOO!
5. A showdown with drills! Epicness!

A good looking woman is running through a rather nice looking forest when she’s set upon by a man in an orange jumpsuit wielding a power drill, who promptly drills a hole in her skull. As openings go, it’s an interesting twist on the slasher horror trope, more so when it turns out that despite taking a drill to the head, she isn’t dead. Well, not quite. She’s medically dead but then comes back, essentially as a zombie. She doesn’t have a craving for human flesh, but instead vomits up a black, oil-like substance. Soon, she’s not the only person to be afflicted and, because the police aren’t doing enough to solve the crime, the girl’s father goes off and tries to solve it himself.

What starts out as a possibly intriguing take on the zombie genre soon degrades into a film about a vengeful father looking for the man responsible for turning his daughter into a black bile spewing, near brain-dead creature. There’s also a mystery to be solved regarding the driller killer and his motives – he drills women in the head yet bashes in the skulls of men. Some repressed sexual subtext there, it seems. When the women are drilled in the head, they are essentially impregnated with a black gloopy substance that slowly takes over their bodies, which can again be linked to the sexual subtext of drilling them in the head with a power tool.

The coal miners were just grateful to have clean sheets.

It improves substantially in the final act, but by that time it’s almost too little too late. There’s a revelation as to the origin of the black gloop and the driller killer with the orange jump suit. The girl’s father, played by Morten Ruda, is a strange choice for lead character, but an inspired one. He doesn’t do all the cliche horror movie tropes that one normally expects from the lead character, and as an older, portly gentleman he plays against that stereotype completely and convincingly. His frequent complaints to the police over their lack of progress in the case is believable in the circumstances, and their general ineffectiveness is quite a pertinent point. I was reminded of the admittedly far better Let Me In in terms of the film’s tone and style, very much at the vanguard of modern European cinema, but it would have benefited more from not being labelled as a zombie film.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been lured in by a cunning film title. Nazi Zombies in particular had no Nazis and almost no zombies. Whilst Dark Souls (for that is its actual name), is nowhere near the same level of atrociousness as Nazi Zombies, I wish filmmakers would have the strength of their convictions and just go with a name that fits the film rather than pandering to the zombie loving masses. If a film is good it will find an audience, but by willingly misleading your audience you’re setting yourself up for a fall. Zombie Driller Killer is a name that implies awesomeness, instead we get a melodrama with the occasional hint of greatness. A shame, but all too common.

Favourite scene: The finale – after all of the generally mundane story this scene makes it all worthwhile. Well, kind of.

Quote: “Innocent people are drilled in the head and left to rot!”

Silly Moment: The black bile stuff. Little bit silly.

Score: 2.5/5

Killer Bees (2002)

Simon Prior

2013-11-23

He was incredibly suspicious of that ladder. Who had put it there? Why was it there? The mysteries were endless.

Twitter Plot Summary: A rural town in Washington state comes under attack from killer bees. The local sheriff has to help stop the attack.

Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama/Family/Horror/Thriller

Director: Penelope Buitenhuis

Key Cast: C Thomas Howell, Tracy Nelson, Fiona Loewi, Noel Fisher, Emily Tennant, Doug Abrahams, Michael Eklund, Natasha Wilson, Tom Heaton, Chris Lovick, Michael P Northey

Five Point Summary:

1. He’s escaping in a truck! Oh noes!
2. The locals are naturally hesitant to stop their bees pollinating. It’s the middle of pollination season, dammit!
3. So what’s up with the mayor’s wig, anyway?
4. Will anybody actually listen to this guy? How much more evidence does he need?
5. OH GOD! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE… oh, sorry – wrong film.

Despite the title, it’s most certainly not in the same vein as the likes of Roger Corman’s creature features, or the equally “so bad they’re good” features from The Asylum or SyFy. No, Killer Bees makes the mistake of taking an almost too serious tone, and moving the focus of the story to the sheriff, his family and his possible romance with bee specialist Riley. But we know that’s probably not going to go anywhere because she has M.S. Nice one, script writers.

C Thomas Howell – he who played “Jack’s Father” in The Amazing Spider-Man and The Day The Earth Stopped, as well as more notably appearing as one of the kids in E.T. – is Sheriff Lyndon Harris in a small town in Washington state. He’s estranged from his wife but still directly involved in raising their two children. Meanwhile a species of bee not seen in that area of the world – the famed killer bee – invades the area and starts bumping off a few people and some cattle. Other than the very serious take on the killer creature sub-genre, it does very much play to expectations – a creature that has the potential to ramp up our inherent phobia (bees), a hero or team of heroes investigating the disturbance (the sheriff and bee expert), an obligatory issue involving either the hero’s family or friendship with a current of former colleague (estranged from wife, kids don’t understand why), and a group of locals and/or an authority figure who refuses to believe that there’s a genuine problem until it’s far too late (the mayor and the local bee keepers).

"Nobody puts sheriff in the corner." — “Nobody puts sheriff in the corner.”

For the first two thirds we follow Sheriff Harris as he attempts to persuade everybody that a major problem is on its way, but naturally nobody listens. The mayor doesn’t want to cause panic, and as it’s pollination season the local bee keepers don’t want to potentially lose out on any money. Then people start dying and the tone starts to unravel, because once the bees start their attack (with no malice intended, of course – they’re just bees and we’re in the way), that’s when things start to move into typical creature feature territory. An old woman is trapped inside her home with just a shotgun to protect her, and the local community are involved in an open-air fete that has the potential for disaster.

It’s a story we’ve seen hundreds of times before, but usually with the silly factor multiplied by 100. Killer Bees deserves praise for choosing to do something a little different, albeit without breaking the established pattern. There’s also no tension within the family structure – the sheriff’s son is slightly distant but not to the same extent seen elsewhere. As such, it ends up being just a touch boring in that the only source of conflict tends to come from the mayor. However because of this extended focus on the family dynamic, it’s nowhere near as bad as other similarly themed movies, and stands as one that is moderately entertaining but not exceptional.

Favourite scene: The finale, where all the lessons we’ve learned about controlling bees comes to the fore.

Quote: “I’ll send the coroner for him – let’s get out of here before the bees come back!”

Silly Moment: The mayor’s obvious toupee. Serious film but an undercurrent of daftness.

Score: 2.5/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9TzHo1zHRg

Kentucky Fried Zombies (2009)

Simon Prior

2013-11-22

Twitter Plot Summary: It’s a diner, at night, and a serial killer’s plans are put on hold when the dead come back.

Genre: Comedy/Horror

Director: Patrick Horvath

Key Cast: Joshua Grote, Liesel Kopp, Parker Quinn, Maria Olsen, Larry Purtell, Daniel Schweiger

Five Point Summary:

1. Nice opening, but would be better if the sound mix was level.
2. He’s almost too whimsical to be a serial killer.
3. So… do these flashbacks really serve any purpose?
4. Nice bargaining tactic, lopping off a finger…
5. Obligatory finale with a slight twist. Okay, you’ve sold me.

Kentucky Fried Zombies (aka Die-ner) is another typically low budget zombie film limited to a single location and filmed over 8 days. And it really shows – no effort has been put into mixing the sound properly and the footage looks washed out and not even given the benefit of a post-production spruce. Case in point – the opening five or six minutes shows a conversation between waitress Rose and Ken, a traveller who happens to have a bag just for tape and rope. The camera focuses solely on her throughout this entire exchange, as does the microphone. Her dialogue is clear whereas his sounds muffled and distant. They didn’t even bother levelling out his audio in post. Then, when their conversation reaches its natural end, he kills her and the chef, the only two people in the building. Naturally.

Ken starts his clean-up operation when he’s interrupted by the arrival of Kathy and Rob, a couple who are going through a rough patch in their relationship. Ken pretends to be a waiter and they are soon joined by Duke, the local sherriff. And then the dead waitress and chef start walking around and the zombie goodness begins. Except, it’s not actually that good. Limiting the setting to one venue might seem like a nice, cheap idea in principle, but in practice it means the script repeats the same beats in order to pad out the running time, which is already a lean 75 minutes. More than once Ken is knocked out and experiences what I assume are flashbacks to his youth. These aren’t explained and they don’t add anything to the story – are we supposed to sympathise with Ken? Because apart from those sequences they make it very hard to do so. Yes he’s a laid back killer with a penchant for witty retorts, but that doesn’t mean we should like him. The zombies look moderately cheap – I’ve certainly seen worse – however the almost lackadaisical attitudes of the living characters towards them means there is no sense of threat. People get bitten, and the attitude is “so what?” Not the best frame of mind to be in when beset by a horde of the living dead, and where bites turn you into one of those same undead swines.

She couldn't help but take a bite, he looked so tasty. — She couldn’t help but take a bite, he looked so tasty.

It tries really hard to be funny, and if handled slightly differently I’m sure the humour in the script would come out. As it is, there’s definitely a hint of whimsy to events but they’re curtailed by the feeling that the shooting schedule was rushed. Nice ideas like the couple on the verge of a relationship breakdown and Ken’s deadpan response to dealing with the undead aren’t given enough room to breathe, and tonally it doesn’t quite hit the mark. The frustrating thing is I can see what the script was trying to accomplish, but it falls quite some distance away from the line. Chalk this one up as a missed opportunity. There’s scope for this kind of zombie story to work, but it needs a bit more time for events to play out and more focus to be placed on the characters and their motivations in order to be a worthwhile venture.

Favourite scene: Cutting to a zombie that’s been duct-taped to the floor. Genius.

Quote:

“Why do you have a bag full of tape and rope?”

“Because it’s my tape and rope bag. What else would I keep in there?”

Silly Moment: Ken’s far too laid back to be a sadistic killer. Far, far too laid back.

Score: 2.5/5

Black Jack (1979)

Simon Prior

2013-11-21

He was amazed at the fact the British would even hang field mice for stealing cheese.

Twitter Plot Summary: A French man goes on the run in 1750s England and teams up with a young boy. Then I got bored.

Genre: Adventure/Comedy

Director: Ken Loach

Key Cast: Jean Franval, Stephen Hirst, Louise Cooper, Andrew Bennett, Packie Byrne, Russell Waters

Five Point Summary:

1. Sorry, I can’t hear a word your saying boy, you’re not miked up properly.
2. I can’t see anything now. Was this poor mixing of sound/vision deliberate?
3. Blackmail – what a dangerous game you play, boy.
4. Somebody’s been shot! SOMETHING INTERESTING HAS HAPPENED!!! Ahem, sorry.
5. And she’s out of the mental home! Why? Because.

Based on the novel, Black Jack is a story of a French convict on the run in England, along with the boy who was charged with looking after him. That’s what the plot synopsis will tell you, but our French prisoner soon fades into the background and becomes almost inconsequential to the plot, one where it actually becomes about the boy and his desire to free a young girl who has been labelled as mad by her charge. There’s a long stretch towards the end of the film where Black Jack doesn’t appear, and it focuses on the boy blackmailing some older gentlemen. It’s hardly riveting stuff. At one point somebody gets shot, but that’s perhaps the only exciting thing to happen. Even worse, you have to wait until near the end of the film for this to happen.

After orchestrating the escape of Black Jack, the story moves from one little set piece to the next, arbitrarily moving the characters forward without any reason or forethought. Instead it exists solely for the adventure, such as it is. When the description said it was an adventure, I had expected something akin to Treasure Island, a breathless adventure with plenty of twists and turns. You know, something to keep the kids quiet for an hour and a half. Instead, Black Jack is a poorly acted series of minor escapades (and that’s being generous) filled with Northerners. Canny, and all that.

All Northerners, by 'eck. — All Northerners, by ‘eck.

Rather than populate the film with actors, Loach decided to follow the realism route and use local people with no acting skills. To an extent this technique works, but the cast frequently muddle their lines up and often have difficulty enunciating. It leads to a frustrating experience as a viewer because you’re never 100% certain what has just been said – whilst I am a fan of the Yorkshire accent, it doesn’t help matters. I was surprised to read that this won the Critic’s Award at the 1979 Cannes Film Festival – I can only assume it was a quiet year.

Black Jack marks the first Ken Loach film I’ve seen, and if this acts as a barometer for what to expect, I’m not sure if I’ll enjoy his other features. In this film specifically it feels almost lazily directed, very much a case of point and shoot. There’s also perhaps an over-reliance on natural lighting, to the point where occasionally it’s difficult to see what’s going on. It’s perfectly fine to adhere to the look of the era, but if it’s to the detriment of the viewing audience then something needs to be done. Still, the gentle camera work and natural lighting creates a documentary style feel that makes it hard to be too negative about it, even if a documentary set in the 1750s is stretching believability. Unfortunately for me it didn’t work, and I’m hesitant to see any more of Loach’s work simply because I’m not a fan of his style. Unlike Black Jack, I would hope that his films aimed at an adult audience have a message or a point to them.

Favourite scene: That bit where something happens. The guy being shot. I was entertained for about three minutes.

Silly Moment: A French man bursting into a building filled with the mentally ill and shouting at the top of his lungs. Why? Because he’s French and he can.

Score: 2/5

How I Live Now (2013)

Simon Prior

2013-11-20

The Village People reunion hadn't gone as well as expected. — The Village People reunion hadn’t gone as well as expected.

Twitter Plot Summary: American Daisy joins her cousins in the UK. Then World War 3 breaks out. Kind of.

Genre: Action/Drama/Thriller/War

Director: Kevin Macdonald

Key Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Tom Holland, George McKay, Harley Bird, Danny McEvoy, Anna Chancellor, Corey Johnson

Five Point Summary:

1. That airport doesn’t look too unusual… except the soldiers, the barbed wire, the general state of decay…
2. You’re cousins! I mean… seriously?
3. That bomb going off… quality cinema.
4. Bleak. Rather bleak.
5. That ruddy bird…

Things are clearly not well in Britain as Elizabeth (sorry, she prefers to be called Daisy) flies into the country from the USA.The army keep the airport under vigorous guard and signs of unrest are evident wherever you look. There’s a Children of Men style vibe to the look of the film, but it fails to live up to the promise of that similarly dystopian feature.

After Daisy has settled in at her aunt’s country home and met her three cousins (the youngest of whom is the voice of Peppa Pig, fact fans), her aunt heads off to Geneva to broker a peace treaty and leaves the kids alone in the cottage under the supervision of Eddie (McKay). For a short while everything is fine – they enjoy the peace of their surroundings and Diasy starts getting close to Eddie – like, really close. Then the unthinkable happens – a nuclear bomb is detonated over London and unnamed invaders land in the country. The scene where the group hear and feel the blast is perhaps the most powerful, and it’s unremittingly bleak from that point forward. The boys and girls are separated and sent to different camps and after spending some time sifting through vegetables in a field with other “volunteers”, Daisy and young cousin Piper (Bird, the aforementioned voice of Peppa Pig) escape and make a break for home. They have a couple of encounters on that journey that are decidedly bleak, but I’ll let you discover them yourself.

You're cousins! Stop it! — You’re cousins! Stop it!

In the “that’s a really silly idea” category is the completely superfluous telepathy subplot that rears its ugly head but fizzles out early on. It’d actually be a much better film without that aspect, it adds nothing and distracts from the rather serious notion of nuclear war. The only purpose it seems to serve is to give Daisy an impetus to return to their cottage – because apparently she wouldn’t have such a desire without a telepathic link to her cousin. That’s another sticking point – there’s a few morally grey decisions made, none more so than Daisy hooking up with Eddie. As the story is told from Daisy’s perspective there’s also little explanation as to what’s going on in the wider world, or what’s happening with the boys in the other camp. This does focus the story more on Daisy’s journey from uppity, snarky teen to her having a more rounded personality, but a few details here and there wouldn’t go amiss.

Whilst it fails to reach the same heights as something like Children of Men, it’s still a passable attempt at displaying a “what if” scenario. It would probably move the story out of the 12A market that they were aiming for, but it would have been nice to see more commentary on the mistreatment of British citizens by their own forces, the effects war has on children, and perhaps to have dropped a few more hints as to what actually happened. The script jumps merrily around these ideas but never takes the final plunge and actively discusses them. Children of Men was a powerful film because the script chose to discuss these themes; How I Live Now lacks power because it doesn’t.

Favourite scene: When the bomb goes off. Expertly done without telling us anything.

Quote: “No one calls me Elizabeth. Except my dad, and he’s an asshole. So if you don’t mind, my name is Daisy.”

Silly Moment: Harry Potter (I know, I know…) driving the car despite being 14 or somewhere around that age.

Score: 3/5

Don Jon (2013)

Simon Prior

2013-11-19

"Ehhhhhhhhh!!!!" #thefonz — “Ehhhhhhhhh!!!!” #thefonz

Twitter Plot Summary: Don Jon is addicted to porn, so how is he expected to establish a genuine relationship? Hmm? Anybody?!

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance

Director: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Key Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, Tony Danza, Glenne Headly, Brie Larson, Rob Brown, Jeremy Luke

Five Point Summary:

1. Oh, moderately graphic.
2. Julianne Moore. A tear-filled lady.
3. Gordon-Levitt and Johansson in a corridor. Oh myyyy…
4. Turns out you don’t necessarily want the super smokin’ blonde – she’s nuts.
5. And that was a fun character study.

Don Jon (Gordon-Levitt) is your everyday young New Yorker. He is dedicated to his home, his family, his weightlifting, his church, his friends, his car and… his pornography. Whilst everything else is absorbed in moderation, Jon’s addiction to porn encapsulates and dominates his existence. He prefers porn to real sex with women, despite the fact he can get the latter pretty much whenever he likes. Then one night out, Jon sees Barabra (Johannson) stood at the bar and decides to make a move. Whilst looking fantastic, her character is a tough person to like. She also has a massive problem with his porn-viewing habits, and threatens to leave him if he doesn’t stop. So far, so hysterical woman. Step up Julianne Moore, the voice of reason in these difficult times. She provides a balance to the “all women are crazy” concept and is quite reasonable and understanding.

There is a lot of repetition to the script, designed to show Jon’s gradual transition from porn-obsessed, emotionally stunted young man to somebody who can invest in his emotions and form a meaningful relationship with another person. We see him following the same pattern time and time again – the nightclub, the gym, the church, the family meal, the porn – until he attends a night class at the behest of Barbara and meets Esther (Moore). She interjects with a few choice ideas about how he should perhaps do things, like maybe not watching as much pornography, and the story really begins to unfold from there. In fact you could argue it’s a film of two halves. The first is a typical young relationship comedy as Jon battles to keep hold of something he’s not absolutely certain he wants, and the second becomes a more in-depth character study and relationship drama that tries and mostly succeeds in making a valid point.

"Son, we need to have words about you copying my look." — “Son, we need to have words about you copying my look.”

The coarse subject matter, much like Lovelace earlier in the year, will obviously put a few people off from ever seeing it, and a similar number will be outraged without ever knowing the true depth to the story. Looking beyond that subject matter (because ultimately it’s not important), it’s a story about addiction, relationships and emotional growth. It’s also full of humour – Jon’s almost permanently mute sister (not medically, she’s just busy messing with her phone) is a highlight, as is Jon’s interactions with his parents (Tony Danza and Glenne Headley, both perfect). Whilst not covered to a similar extent, his relationship with his friends is also nicely played out, and by the end further emphasises Jon’s transition.

As a first time directorial effort, Gordon-Levitt has made a compelling film that is appropriately hard edged yet has a soft core at its centre. It likewise helps that he also wrote and starred in the film, at least as far as this first effort is concerned, but I think the future is bright with regards to his behind the camera escapades. Don Jon is a story with depth, emotional resonance and nicely balances humour with drama, and adds Scarlett Johannson to the mix – you can’t really ask for more.

Favourite scene: Jon’s sister finally speaks – and she’s completely right.

Quote: ” There’s only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.”

Silly Moment: Barbara telling Jon he can’t do housework when they live together. Say what now?

Score: 4/5

1...707172...90 Page 71 of 90

SIMONPRIOR.COM