Twitter Plot Summary: Birds attack a small town and a couple try to survive the badly animated carnage.
Five Point Summary:
1. So many minutes of pointless driving…
2. That guy selling solar panels – does it add anything to the story?
3. Bad CGI! Bad attacks by birds!
4. Some lunatic in the woods with a bad toupee.
5. So many minutes of staring out to sea…
Bad films can be a guilty pleasure under the right circumstances, and if you’re attuned to the fact it’s a bad film then it can be as equally enjoyable as one of the big blockbusters. That’s not to say the film’s any good, of course, because whilst it might be enjoyable on a certain level it’s frequently an example of how not to make a film. Step up, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, your time in the spotlight is nigh.
The story sees newly formed couple Rod and Nathalie retreating to a hotel room to consummate their relationship (despite as many have pointed out, that they have perfectly good homes of their own to do so). The morning after the world has fallen apart, as badly animated birds of all sizes and descriptions swoop down on the town and cause havoc. Some even explode on impact, kamikaze style. Who knew birds had such talents? Throughout their escape from the hot zone they encounter some orphaned children and a mad army veteran-type in the woods who blames it all on the corporations and global warming.
There are a number of basics you would expect from any film – decent camera work, clear audio/dialogue, a competent script and even half-decent special effects on occasion. Birdemic fails on every point. Audio levels are a mess, the volume fluctuating wildly, even in individual scenes where you would expect at least some form of consistency. This is also made worse by some terribly dubbed dialogue and sound effects, including an early scene where a waitress has been dubbed so badly she sounds like eternally high character Toad from the Super Mario Bros series. To say the acting is also atrocious would be a massive understatement. It’s wooden and lacks any sign of ability whatsoever. In fairness to the actors they are not helped by a sloppy edit. Too much room is left at the beginning and end of each scene, and there’s far too many occasions where there’s too much space right in the middle of the scene as well. If this film had been tightened up by a veteran editor then it would’ve likely been 30 minutes shorter, but not any better.
The biggest flaw of all is the script. Spending more than half the film waiting for the birds to attack, for which I might add there is absolutely no justification for, means it feels like you’re already sat through a Lord of the Rings style epic before anything of interest takes place. One minute all is well, and the next – bam! Birds are killing innocent folk left right and centre. This would be acceptable had the first half of the film been at least moderately interesting. Instead we have to sit through what feels like half an hour of opening credits of a man driving a car – badly framed, I might add, and a love story between Rod and Nathalie that is so badly structured and, dare I say it, innocent, that you’re reaching for the sick bag after their first encounter.
There’s so much more criticism to throw at Birdemic that it would take me all day, so I won’t run through the complete list because it will be more fun for you to discover it yourself. Yes, this is such a terrible film it comes with a hearty recommendation from me for you to see it. The worst thing about it though? Apparently it took James Nguyen 4 years to make the movie. You can tell.